About Doctors - Part 2

We went back to the specialist yesterday hoping for the best but quietly preparing for the worst. We had no idea what a genetic counselor was but it sounded like a good idea.

The counselor was very nice and very helpful. She was bright and sunny and hopeful without being overly so. She took us through our chart and answered our questions. We mentioned that we were leaning towards doing an amniocenteses and she took us through the hows and the whys we may or may not want to do that.

After talking with her, we learned that an amnio would be testing for things that we do not have any signs of at this point. Nothing was pointing to a need for one at this time so we changed our minds and decided against it - contrary to the advice of the doctor.

The counselor mentioned that a different sonographer would be working with us today and she was very glad. It was someone she had worked with for years and whom she had much faith in. She was quick to point out that the sonographer we had on Monday was good too - it was just good to have another set of eyes . . .

Hmmmm . . . interesting.

The sonographer we had yesterday was much better. Rather than jamming the ultrasound deep into my wife's abdomen, she had a very light touch and was able to manipulate the setting on the machine to get a better view. Rather than have my wife roll around and rather than shaking my wife's belly, she would give the ultrasound a little jiggle and suggested that my wife try coughing to move the baby.

She was very helpful and we were discussing what we were seeing when the doctor came in. The sonographer clammed up right away.

I know this sounds crazy but I felt a chill when the doctor came in.

My wife could not look her in the eye.

Although thanks to the counselor and the new sonographer, we had more information to go on, the doctor continued to speak in absolutes only this time she seemed to preference every other sentence with, "since termination is not an option for you . . ."

"Since you have told me that termination is not an option for you . . . your daughter will never walk . . ."

"Since you would never terminate this pregnancy . . . your daughter will not have any bladder control . . ."

When I said I wanted to consult with a neurologist on possible treatment options, she replied that, although she was not a neurologist, she felt there were very few treatment options available - and in any case, it was too early for that . . .

I told her again that I wanted a consult with a neurologist and she said she could get me some phone numbers but she would like to see us back in a few weeks and then she might give us phone numbers if we still wanted them.

I asked for a third time and she said she would get me the numbers before we left . . She suggested that we sit in the waiting room while she located the numbers.

The wife couldn't take anymore and she waited in the hallway in a shell-shocked daze. Sort of a blank stare at nothing with tears falling involuntarily.

It turns out, the doctor did not have connections with any neurologists - she had her assistant pull out the directory and make a couple cold calls for phone numbers.

When I asked the doctor if the vertebrae she had mentioned was a T1 or T5, she looked at me with disdain and sharply said, "T4 or 5".

Well . . .

We headed out to the car and I told my wife, "I don't like her and I don't want to see her again". My wife was relieved and said the same thing.

For the first time we shared our impressions of "Dr. Doom" and it was amazing how we had both been feeling the same thing.

The best way I can describe her bedside manner is the ice witch in the Lion the Witch Wardrobe when she is buttering up Edmund to bring his brothers and sisters to Narnia so she can kill them. Add to that the effect of a dementor from the Harry Potter books that sucks all the happiness right out of you.

I honestly do not think this is just a dad not wanting to work with a doctor that gave him bad news. This doctor feels like a force of darkness - and I don't want her dealing with my wife and daughter . . . and we had been warned about her before . . .

I know it sounds crazy - and maybe I am. But you weren't there - and we are not going back.

My wife would phrase it a little differently. This is what she wrote in a fit of insomnia last night:

From an Angry Mother

She will not touch me. She will not touch my daughter. How dare she use the word TERMINATE over and over to me as if talking about a pest problem. How dare she proclaim what my daughter CANNOT DO without mention or glimpse of hope of what my daughter CAN DO! I will NOT allow this. Get thee behind me darkness, and welcome the light. Daddy and I will fire Dr. Doom in search of Dr. Hope.

Dr. Hope believes in Annabelle as a person and believes in miracles. Dr. Hope will speak truth with kindness. Dr. Hope has a warrior's heart and skilled hands. That heart and those hands will battle with us and press on towards the LIGHT. Dr. Hope will pray. Dr. hope will believe in victory!

Our Little Girl deserves nothing less.