Pray First

"I ought to pray before seeing any one . . . Christ arose before day and went into a solitary place. David says: ‘Early will I seek thee' . . . feel it is far better to begin with God - to see His face first, to get my soul near Him before it is near another."

- Robert Murray M'Cheyne

On The Inability to Pray for Others

A dear friend asked me a question recently:

You know...too much of the time I feel that I am so wrapped up with my own needs and worries that I don't have the capacity to love and pray for others to the extent I would like. Do you know of ways to remedy this?

My Response:

My most desperate prayer is a groan.

When God grants me the strength, I pray, "Jesus help me"

After a week or so of that I come to "Thank you for the blessings of my difficulties"

Then "Help me to see beauty"

Then "Flow through me to others"

And that's usually when I begin to love others enough to pray for them.

I am not sure I believe this but I sort of do: You cannot pray out of your own strength - The ability to pray is a grace given by God. if you can't muster a prayer its because God is not allowing it - Ask why he is allowing you to feel desolate and alone - he is showing you something or teaching you something or removing something from you. When we can't pray, its because God is breaking us - the question is, "to what purpose?"

Two common explanations for the inability to pray for others are:

1) You have sin in your life that is blocking that
2) You simply don't love others enough

I find both of those pretty thin gruel.

I think a better explanation is similar to why you shouldn't swim after eating - you blood is rushing inward to your digestive system where it is needed - there isn't enough in your extremities to avoid cramping.

When we can't pray for others its because we are in a pseudo-state of survival spiritually speaking. That energy is needed to be turned inwards at the moment. God needs you to digest something and make it a part of you before you go out "swimming" with others.

So groan. Beg for help in the simplest of prayers. Thank God for the furnace of adversity. Ask God to help you see goodness. Submit yourself to his purposes. Then pray like the spiritual powerhouse you were created to be.

But then again, what do I know?

Prayer

by Marie Howe

Every day I want to speak with you. And every day something more important
calls for my attention—the drugstore, the beauty products, the luggage


I need to buy for the trip.
Even now I can hardly sit here


among the falling piles of paper and clothing, the garbage trucks outside
already screeching and banging.


The mystics say you are as close as my own breath.
Why do I flee from you?


My days and nights pour through me like complaints
and become a story I forgot to tell.


Help me. Even as I write these words I am planning
to rise from the chair as soon as I finish this sentence.

Prayer Request Update

I don't think there has ever been a time in our lives when we have been so dependant on prayer. Thank you to those of you who have been praying us through this crazy time.

Here are the latest prayer needs:

- That Annabelle's shunt continues to work properly
- That the V3 procedure was successful and the opening in her ventricles remains open
- That Annabelle continues to develop right on track and is able to walk one day

Something I have not mentioned is that our house is now in foreclosure. Due to the economic downturn, we are making 30% of what were were 18 months ago. That's pretty tough to budget around. We are in negotiations with our lenders to modify our loans and are hoping for a successful resolution. The idea of losing our house that so many have poured their hard work into is unbearable. So if you wouldn't mind praying along those lines as well - especially between now and March 4th - that would be great.

Thank you for all your prayers and comments, e-mails and support.

Nana-korohi, ya-oki

(Fall down seven times, get up eight times)

- Japanese Saying

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

(BTW - if anyone is interested in Housing Market News, I actually have another blog **shhh - don't tell anyone!** that is strictly industry news from a variety of sources - I try and keep it pretty up-to-date. It is called The Real Estate Hotwire )

Current Prayer Requests

For those of you who are following along and continuing to lift us up in prayer, I just want to say a heartfelt "Thanks".

Even though we are posting medical updates regularly, that doesn't always explicitly explain what we are praying and hoping for. So my goal is to update our prayer requests about once a month.

So, the update:

- Shunt: As I posted a couple of weeks ago, Annabelle has some swelling behind her left ear where her shunt was placed. The post is here. The short version is the Dr.s say everything is fine but it is very unnerving on a daily basis. Please pray that Annie-Lu's shunt continues to work properly as a shunt malfunction can put the brain at risk and would involve surgery.

- Spine: We are continuing to hope and pray for miraculous development of Annabelle's nervous system. Particularly so that she will have bowel and bladder control and one day be able to walk. So far, we have seen a very small amount of movement in Annie's toes and no movement in her legs.

- Feet: As you probably know, we are on casting #5 to get Bella's feet straightened. The doctor replaces the casts once a week and expects that Annabelle will be in casts through the first of the year. Please pray that the casting process is successful and that the Bones in Annie's feet are in the right shape in the right places so that surgery will not be required.

- Finances: In a way, we are very fortunate that I can take a 6-week parental leave and make more $ than I would at work. That also goes to show how much our income has changed in a year. In addition, the wife left a full time job when Annie was born and came back to a part-time job. So things are tight and we are concerned that we may not be able to keep our house (we already turned in one of our cars). But all through the process, God has continued to provide. Please pray that God would continue to provide in such a way that we can stay in our home.

- Mom and Dad: Of course, it is all very wearing. Just about every time we are out, well-meaning strangers notice the scar on her head where the shunt is and ask about it. And of course, having a 3 1/2 month old in double leg casts doesn't help. The other day, a mailman downtown stopped me to ask about the casts, "Wow, that looks painful . . ." Hmm. Thanks. Please pray that mom and dad keep a sense of humor and optimism and hope. And that we focus on all that we have with a spirit of gratitude.

Thank you once again for all your prayers and support. Some days just knowing how many people are continuing to pray for us gets us through the day!

Blessings upon you and yours!

Current Prayer Requests

It has been some time since I have put out an updated prayer request list. If this were a marathon, I would guess we are at about mile 21 . . . we can't believe we have made it this far and we have no idea how to get across the next 5.2 miles that are left.

Our two big immediate concerns for little Annabelle are her shunt and her feet.

The VP Shunt:

As a refresher, children with SB often have trouble with fluid building up on their brain. To combat this, the the doctors inserted a tube into Annabelle's head just behind her left ear. The tube runs under the skin and into her abdomen where any excess fluid is absorbed by the body.

The critical window for shunts is the first 6 months. Usually, if someone is going to have trouble with their shunt, this is the window in which the trouble starts.

So far, we do not have any reason to believe that Annie's shunt is causing any problems what-so-ever. The Neurosurgeon is scheduling us for a CT scan and Shunt Series of X-rays just to check on everything and we hope to have that done in the next 4 weeks or so.

It will be a big relief to hear that everything is working just as it should be.

Club Feet:

As you probably know, we started the casting process this past week. Every Thursday the Doc will cut off last week's casts, bend little Annie's feet a little more and then recast them. The process is expected to take 6-9 weeks depending on her progress. We are, of course, hoping that we get through this as quickly as possible.

When the wife met with the Doctor last Thursday, he remarked that Annabelle's case was severe and that (if the casting does not do the trick) surgery might be needed on both her ankles.

=begin aside=
If I never hear the the phrase "so severe" again it will be too soon . . .
=end aside=

So, of course, we are hoping to avoid surgery.

Those are the two immediate biggies.

Of course, we are also constantly praying that Annabelle develops bladder and bowel control and the ability to walk.

On the up side, she is just the sweetest, happiest, non-fussy child anyone could hope for. A true joy!

Thank you for all your continued prayers and support!

Current Prayer Requests

Again, a big "Thank You" to those who continue to check in on Annabelle's progress and continue to lift her up in prayer. There have been a lot of changes in the past month - hard to believe that one month ago today this was the status of things . . .

So with that in mind, I thought I would update folks on some specific prayer needs:

Healing of her back: There is a spot about the size of a quarter that is healing very slowly. We are changing out the dressing every other day and seeing the PS every week but it has us very concerned. We cannot move forward on other issues that need to be addressed until this wound is properly healed.

Ability to walk: To date, Annabelle has not moved her legs on her own. This does not mean that she never will but it is obviously a concern. Please pray that Annabelle will be able to walk normally.

Bladder and bowel control: Most children with SB do not have bladder or bowel control although some do. It is too early to tell if this will be an issue for her but please pray that, along with normally functioning legs, Annabelle has normally functioning bowels and bladder.

Child Care / Finances: We still don't know how this is all going to come together. We are applying for every form of assistance and aid we can find at this point. We believe we have found a suitable child care program for days that we both have to work but the earliest Annie can attend is September 22nd. That leaves us just under two weeks to figure out other possible solutions. Obviously, we would love to have one of us stay home with her all the time but we don't have an answer to that just yet.

So that is the run-down. Back, legs, bowels and $.

We continue to be ever so grateful for Annabelle - parenthood seems to suit us.

The other day, a friend sent a cd in the mail with a collection of songs that have the name "Annabelle" in them. One of the songs is a particularly beautiful one by Rich Price entitled "Annabelle".

Yesterday evening, while Holly made dinner in the kitchen, I cranked up the tune and danced throughout our living room which is currently empty of furniture (our own little ballroom!) with Annabelle in my arms. Our faces were inches from each other and we swayed and swung and stared into each other's eyes and listened to the music.

To quote my good friend once again:

When you get married, you resign yourself to the fact that you will never fall in love again. When you have a child, you realize how wrong you were, and you realize it every single day, and you get down on your knees and thank the Good Lord that you were wrong all along.

Life doesn't get much better than that . . .

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Had to Share

From an e-mail I was c/c'd on this morning (Thank you so much, my friend!):

Hello Daily Dose brothers and sisters,

Matt and Holly hosted a party for Annabelle on Sunday at their home. Holly’s dad, Pastor Doug Bolles dedicated little Annabelle and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house (or backyard). We are so thankful to God his gift of Annie to Matt and Holly and all of us. Our friend Sean Hawkins read a Dr. Seuss book titled Oh, The Places You’ll Go and personalized it for Annabelle. It was so beautiful and meaningful. Please read it below.

A poem by Dr. Seuss, titled “Oh, the Places You’ll Go…”

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day, (Annabelle).
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.

You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the girl
who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets.
Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say,
“I don’t choose to go there.”

With your head full of brains
and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down
any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.

OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind,
because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang
and you’ll soon take the lead.

Wherever you fly,
you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go,
you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t

Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place
where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.
But mostly they’re darked.

A place you could sprain
both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?
Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose?
How much can you win?

And IF you go in,
should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters?
Or, maybe, not quite?

Or go around back
and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not,
I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper
to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads
at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles
across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear,
toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a (girl)!

Oh, the places you’ll go!
There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.
There are games to be won.

And the magical things
you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est
winner of all.

Fame! You’ll be famous
as famous can be,
with the whole wide world
watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t.

Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that sometimes
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone,
there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you
right out of your pants.

There are some, down the road
between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much
you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl

Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that
Life’s a Great Balancing Act.

Just never forget
to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up
your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So… be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

- Dr. Seuss

I wanted to update you all on Annabelle Linden’s progress. Your prayers are making such a difference for little Annie and her family. Matt and Holly have been told by all of Annie’s doctor’s to treat her like a normal baby because that’s who she is! What a blessing. The Linden’s still can use your prayers.

1. Bowel and bladder control for Annie. This is a big unknown at this point and something that needs our prayers.

2. There is an area in the middle of Annie’s spinal incision that has not healed. Annie is seeing a plastic surgeon weekly to help with the healing process.

3. The straightening of Annie’s legs. She will most likely have her legs taped in a couple of months to begin this process.

4. Hospital bills for Matt and Holly. They are big but not bigger than our God’s ability to provide.

5. The Linden home. Many of us have spent almost every weekend since Memorial Day working on the “Linden Home Makeover”. We are down to a few projects and can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

a. Stucco the front of the house. (where the garage door used to be)

b. Joint compound, sand, prime, and paint dry wall in new family room. (formerly the garage).
c. Sand and seal concrete floor in family room.

d. Build steps from family room into kitchen and dining room.

e. There is only one 110 volt power line going from the street to their home. We need to add a line and possibly another breaker box.

f. Repair irrigation on lawn and backyard planters.

6. Pray for county inspectors. Sean Hawkins pulled the permits for this project so things need to go in a certain order so that when the inspector comes, everything is to his satisfaction. Pray for grace.

7. Pray for Sean Hawkins. He is our General Contractor and has worked his butt off on this project to the point of illness.

For more updates or if you feel that God is leading you to help in some other way, please click on Annabelle’s Circle at www.annabellescircle.com or www.thedawgrun.blogspot.com

Thank you all for your love and prayers. I appreciate it so much. I am forwarding this e-mail to Matt and Holly to encourage them. It is always so uplifting to know that people you have never met are praying for you.

Click here to view photos of Annie. They’ll leave you in awe! As Holly said, Annabelle is stunning. http://www.ashleymcnamara.com/articles/2008/08/22/strong-ashley-mcnamara-san-diego-photographer

Thank you Linden’s. it is an honor to be your friend. You have so many more now too. Thank you for sharing your lives with all of us. We love you!

Go Annabelle!

Easter in August

Friends of ours informed us that they intend to engage in a period of prayer and fasting the week prior to Annabelle's delivery.

The concept is basically the same as the 40 days prior to Easter called "Lent". Take something that is a part of your life and give it up for forty days. Usually people give up dietary things such as sugar, alcohol, caffeine or meat although people also give up activities as well.

Since Easter usually falls right about the time that the wheels are coming off people's New-Year's Resolution wagons, Lent is often used as an opportunity to renew resolutions, give up bad habits etc.

The idea of Lent generally and a time of prayer and fasting in particular is that whenever you feel the temptation to do the thing you have given up, you use that temptation to call yourself to prayer. You are substituting one habit for another.

I have never really observed Lent although I have observed shorter periods of prayer and fasting (count them on one hand). I suppose it is because in my spiritual obtuseness I never felt like I had anything I wanted to pray that hard over.

Well, it's got me thinking. Yesterday was something of a milestone - exactly one month to Annabelle's birthday. Goodness knows I have things I my life I probably should give up - if not for a month, maybe for good.

Maybe it's time for a summer version of Lent . . .

Prayer

This devotion hit close to home this morning.

Prayer Request Update - 5/28

For Holly:

- That the ovarian cyst is benign and not cancerous

For Annabelle:

- That the spinal fluid drains properly and does not build up on Annabelle's brain

- That the spinal cord is protected from scarring or other damage

- That Annie's nervous system continues to develop normally

- For healing of Bella's Spinal column and that the bones continue to develop properly

- That regardless of if/where the opening is on her spine, that Annie's "functionality" is normal

- That the nervous system develops in such a way that she has bladder and bowel control

- That her feet and legs develop normally

For the Family:

- For faith and patience

- For finances

- For maternity leave solutions

*It's a big and daunting list - we are hoping and praying for miracles - your prayers mean so much to us - Thank you!*

Prayer Request Update

- That the spinal fluid drains properly and does not build up on Annabelle's brain

- That the spinal cord is protected from scarring or other damage

- That Annie's nervous system continues to develop normally

- For healing of Bella's Spinal column and that the bones continue to develop properly

- That regardless of if/where the opening is on her spine, that Annie's "functionality" is normal

- That the nervous system develops in such a way that she has bladder and bowel control

- That her feet and legs develop normally

*It's a big and daunting list - we are hoping and praying for miracles - your prayers mean so much to us - Thank you!*

Our next Doctor's appointment is May 27th

The Pray 'Til Labor Day Challenge

“I pray because I can’t help it. I pray because I am helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time – waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.” - Anthony Hopkins as CS Lewis in Shadowlands

Will you dare to be changed?

Prayer is hard work. Anyone who tells you differently either has not done it or has a special gift.

Extended prayer over a period of months is harder still.

Extended prayer over a period of months for a miracle? That takes real character.

Extended prayer over a period of months for a miracle for someone you may not know all that well? That can change you.

Our due date is August 27th. Five days before the Labor Day holiday.

There isn’t much I can physically do for my daughter, Annabelle, right now but one thing I can do is try to rally people to her side in prayer.

I have put together a music CD to help remind you – prompt you – to pray.

Some of you have already received a CD - if you haven't, chances are it is because I do not have your mailing address. E-mail me at MattLinden@msn.com with your mailing address and I will get one out to you.

It is my opportunity to both encourage and thank you for praying.

And "Thank you" to those of you who have written and requested more CDs for your church groups, friends etc. One reader even photo-copied the letter and burned copies of the CD for her friends herself - Thank you! It means so much to us to know that not only are you praying but that you are encouraging others to pray as well.

Put the CD in your car – pray on your commute. If the music isn’t your thing, put the disc somewhere you will see it and it will remind you.

If you know someone who will pray, send me their name and address and I will send them a disc as well. If you have a prayer group, friends or family who will pray – let me know how many CD’s you need and I will get them to you.

It’s one of the few things I can do for my little Annie right now.

15 weeks.

Our daughter needs a miracle – our daughter needs your prayers.

The process just might change you.

Blessings,

Matt

=Lyrics to the songs are at the "Prayer Album" link to the right=

Just Had to Share

From an e-mail that was forwarded to me this morning:

Dear Friends,

When my dad died twenty years ago this month, I received a number of sympathy cards and notes. Among them was a particularly beautiful letter of consolation from Ann, a contemporary and long-time friend of my parents and a wonderful friend to me.

Six years later Ann herself died very unexpectedly. The loss was stunning and felt to me like the last straw in a series of losses. I couldn't quite believe God would allow it. Ann had been the one who stepped in with just the word I needed when my mother died, when my father died, when my brother Jess died. I couldn't forgive God for this one, and I kept my distance from Him for days. I avoided prayer and slammed through my daily tasks.

I remember the angry thoughts that eventually became angry prayers, "You could have saved her! You could have kept her alive. She died because it was Your timing. I can't believe You allowed this." But I see now that shooting off those angry words to God and even my initial avoidance of prayer were evidences, oddly enough, of my faith. Both were fueled by my recognition that this death could only have happened by His permissive will.

Taking our anger to God in prayer is just the thing to do. It is an acknowledgement of His Lordship over the circumstances, and every such acknowledgement honors Him. Going to prayer in our anger is evidence that spiritually we have our eyes in the right place, even if those eyes are glaring in protest. We take our angry selves to Him, to prayer, because He is the One to whom we must confess both the anger and the defiance behind it-that spirit which demands that things go our way. He is the only One who can forgive and relieve us of both, and He is waiting and most willing to do so. Because after the angry prayers the other prayers can come¯the deeper prayers of the heart, the hurting heart. Bringing all of it to Him perfectly positions us to receive His most personal comfort.

For me that comfort came in a most unlikely form. Soon after Ann's death I walked into my kitchen one day and nearly stepped on some folded papers in my path. I picked them up only to discover that this was the letter Ann had written to me when my father died. I had not seen it for six years. It must have been in a drawer, perhaps stuck to something I handled earlier that day. Here was my perfect consolation written years earlier for sorrowful me by Ann herself, and delivered to me a second time by the God who loves me.

I copied the letter and passed along this comfort to Ann's two sons, for God's comfort is given to us to be given away. In those days just after her death, imagine them receiving-in their mother's own words and handwriting-gentle instruction on how to bear the loss of a loved parent. Tender shepherd, indeed.

Current Prayer Needs

- That Annabelle's nervous system develops normally

- That there is not any scarring of the spinal cord

- That Annie's doctors perform above and beyond their abilities

- That Holly and I have the wisdom and guidance to make the best decisions

- Reassurance for Holly that not feeling the baby move at this point is not necessarily indicative of any problems

- That Annabelle would give Holly and good kick or punch to let Holly know that things are okay.

Thy Word

By Amy Grant

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.

When I feel afraid,
And think Ive lost my way.
Still, youre there right beside me.
Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.

I will not forget
Your love for me and yet,
My heart forever is wandering.
Jesus by my guide,
And hold me to your side,
And I will love you to the end.

Nothing will I fear
As long as you are near;
Please be near me to the end.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
And a light unto my path.
Youre the light unto my path.

Just Had to Share - Prayer for Expectant Mothers

From an e-mail we received yesterday:

"Don't know how you feel about "Saints" (If it's weird, just disregard it-we Catholics have Patron Saints for almost anything), but this is a prayer I like. (St. Anne, the grandmother of Jesus & patron saint of expectant mothers.)

"PRAYER FOR EXPECTANT MOTHERS
O Good Saint Anne, who had the incomparable privilege of bringing into the world Her who was to become the Mother of God, I come to place myself under your special care. I confide myself to you, together with the child I am carrying.
Thousands of children owe you, Glorious Mother of Mary, the life of the body and grace of baptism. Hence I wish, in my turn, to place my whole confidence in you. Make me keep in mind the precautions I need to take so as not to endanger in any way the health, good qualities or the eternal salvation of the child whose very existence God has placed in my care.

"Obtain for me the virtues you did teach Her who was to be the Mother of God, so that I may afterwards instill and develop them in the heart of my child.
O Good Saint Anne, protect me today and forever. I know that you will not refuse your intercession to a mother who invokes you with confidence.
Amen."

Good one.

It is Well With My Soul

By Horatio G. Spafford, 1873
Arrangement by Audio Adrenaline

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul

My sin O the joy of this glorious thought
My sin not in part but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and
I bear it no more paraise the Lord, praise the Lord,
O my soul

And Lord haste the day
When my faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll
The trump shall resound and
The Lord shall descend
Even so it is well with my soul

Prayers and Squares

A number of churches have something called a "prayer quilt" ministry.

Ladies in the church make quilts with a bunch of loose threads attached and then when someone in the church is in need of prayer a quilt is placed down front and those who wish to can pray and then tie a knot in one of the loose strings symbolizing their prayer.

Much like the taking meals to people going through a difficult time, I always thought this was sort of odd. "The guy was in a car wreck - he needs disability insurance - not a blanket", was again my approximate response.

Once again, boy was I wrong.

A friend asked me if Holly and I would like a prayer quilt for Annabelle and of course I said, "Yes". My first inkling that there was more to this than I knew was when I received the following e-mail from our friend:

"I also have a question about the quilt. I picked one out for Holly yesterday. My friend from bible study showed them to me and encouraged me to pray before selecting one. She was confident that God had already chosen a quilt for Holly and Annabelle, and if I asked him…he would lead me to the right one. Cheryl and I both prayed in the little storage hallway for you, Holly and Annabelle. There must have been close to 100 quilts folded on shelves in two large cabinets. She told me to pick our four and she would unfold them for me to get a better look. I picked four and the first one she unfolded was THE ONE. No doubt about it!!! I can’t wait for you guys to see it.

"The women in the prayer quilt ministry prayed for your family’s needs on Wednesday. Your prayer request will also be shared with the entire congregation at Pt Loma Pres on Sunday. Then the congregation will have an opportunity to pray for you guys and tie knots on the quilt in between services. You are invited to attend Sunday services and be present for the prayer and knot tying. . . ."

We got to church yesterday morning just after the first service had let out and the wife and I walked into a mostly empty sanctuary.

Down in front were about six different quilts and each one had a plexi-glass frame telling the story of each family in need. Here is our "announcement":

The wife and I sat down three pews from the front and watched in amazement as people of all ages would come by. read our story and then tie a knot while praying. There were Jr. Highers on up through ancient saints of the church who had to momentarily let go of their walkers to fumble with the knots.

Keep in mind that these are total strangers - we do not attend this church and they have no idea who we are - they just know a little bit about our story and they know that we need prayer.

Miracles.

One of the highlights was when a lady who appeared to be in her sixties bent over our quilt and read our story through her bifocals. Standing there at the front of the church, shaking her head, she swore under her breath "Dammit" and then proceeded to pray and tie a knot in our quilt.

Yes, "Damn It" indeed.

It was a wonderful service and afterwards the wife and I stayed and watched more people tie more knots. It was truly amazing.

Finding newcomers in an all but empty sanctuary after the service, the pastor introduced himself and chatted with us about our situation. When the people around us discovered that the quilt was ours, they all gathered around and prayed for us.

Strangers to us in any other setting - here we were brothers and sisters in Christ, the family of God, fellow travellers in need of aid.

Our friend has requested that we "loan" our quilt to her so that her bible study can pray and tie more knots as well.

The quilt now sits in Annabelle's room awaiting her arrival. Just like meals provided by a friend, the prayer quilt is a tangible reminder that people are praying and it feels so good to wrap the prayer quilt around you and know that you are being covered in prayer.

Since I seem to be praying dozens of times a day right know, I suppose I could knot up every last loose end all on my own but I want to leave some for others. I am going to limit myself to one good knot every morning.

A good, solid square knot that will never come loose.

I can't wait to wrap Annie in it and then one day, when she is able to understand, tell her the story of the hundreds of knots in the strings . . .

Meals Matter. Prayers Matter. Prayer Quilts Matter.

Thank you for continuing to pray.

UPDATE:

Annabelle's nursery still has the guest bed in it and the quilt is draped over that. I find myself kneeling by the bed in the mornings and laying my whole upper body on the quilt as I pray - in a weird sort of way, it makes me feel sort of close to Bella.

Maybe I will allow myself two knots a day - one in the morning and one in the evening . . .

Fix You

by Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you