There is another good reason for giving in to bath time.If you make things too difficult, your owner may choose to enlist a mercenary who will engage you in bath time on his behalf. These bathers-for-hire are known as "groomers". Their lairs are the stuff of nightmares. For them, there is no hope of negotiation, no subtle luring. You are seized, you are restrained, you are groomed. They don't stop with just a bath victory, either. They're in it for the total humiliation. Their beastly tools include dryers, electric clippers, and nail snippers. They sculpt and decorate and powder. they might even dye you an unnatural color. These people are single-handedly responsible for reducing the status of the majestic Poodle to a laughingstock of the dog world.
Bet a regular bath doesn't seem so bad now, huh?
Ultimately, you need to accept that bath time is inevitable. just make sure you let your owner know that the ordeal makes you very, very sad. This will at least cause him to feel guilty, and, as we all know, guilty owners give more treats.
- Rex and Sparkey in The Dangerous Book for Dogs
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