No, we were not "trying". And by "trying" I mean we were not scheduling romantic evenings by the changing of the tides, the position of the stars or any other "cycles". We did not have special pillows.
After about 12 years of marriage, the wife and I came to the conclusion that, "Yes, we want children - someday". Which was quite a step for us.
After about 15 years of marriage, the wife and I came to the conclusion that the window of opportunity was narrowing but that we were not "ready yet".
So we agreed that we would not "try" to get pregnant but that we would stop "preventing".
Apparantly, this is what not preventing gets you - who knew?
So how do I feel about the pregnancy? Tired. Just tired.
It's obviously diffrent for a man than a woman. For the woman, she begins to feel funny. She feels tired all the time. She feels sort of queasy in the middle. The body starts to get sore in places as it changes. When a woman discovers she is pregant, all the peices start fitting into place. It all begins to make sense.
The man on the other hand, already has all his peices in place (so to speak). Life already makes sense. He isn't feeling any of the changes that the woman feels. And then WHAMO! The wife says she is pregant. This explains nothing for the man. All the pieces of his puzzle are rearranging. Life no longer makes sense.
You find yourself sitting on your couch with your wife who is simultaneously relieved and apprehensive - watching your every movement, your every expression, for some clue as to how you truly feel about this life-altering miracle and all you can think is "not possible - not possible - I wonder what's for dinner - not possible - she's watching me - LOOK HAPPY - not possible . . . "
There is no proof.
You can't see it, hear it, touch it. You just have the word of your wife and a plastic stick with heirogryphics on it that supposedly spell out "Your life has changed forever".
So how do I feel? Tired. And we have a full day ahead. Friends of ours have come down from Seattle to run the Surf City Marathon with friends of ours from Oceanside.
The wife has agreed to drive up to Orange County to babysit and cheer on the runners.
I am headed into the office for my last day.
I kissed my illegedly pregant wife and we parted ways.
The Seattlite's marathon experience is here while the Oceansider's experience is here.
I packed up my office as planned, e-mailed in my resignation, and carted the boxes to the new office. That's when it hit me. As of Monday morning, we will be without health insurance.
When we decided "not to prevent", I maxed out our insurance plans. I maxed out the Life insurance the Accidental Death and Dismemberment insurance (lovely name) the Long Term Disability insurance, the Health insurance - I even got insurance for my insurance through that company with the quacking goose.
As I understand it, if we ever go to the hospital and have to pay a dime out of our pockets, one phone call and the Goose pulls up in an armored car outside the hospital with lights flashing, rushes in with bags of cash and apologizes 1000 times for any inconveninece we have suffered while bowing and scraping as they back out of the hospital room.
At least that's the way the salesperson made it sound . . .
Now it was all for naught. My gold-plated insurance with the old company would expire upon my resignation and the insurance with the new company would not start for another three months at which point the pregancy would be deemed a pre-existing conditon and not be covered.
We. Are. Screwed. (In every sense of the word).
But there's no time to dwell, I need to rush to the store to buy the pregnancy instructions.
After that I headed to Oceanside to meet up with the Marathoners for dinner and our big announcement.
There was hugs and kisses all round and everyone was joyous.
I still don't feel it. I'm so tired . . . .
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