Marc Parent's latest installment of the Newbie Chronicles is up at Runner's World.
Teaser:
There are other things I've discovered running won't do. Since I began two months ago, not one person has stopped to ask me if I've lost weight. Forget the minor detail that I haven't actually lost any weight—I can put on a new shirt a lot easier than run for two months and get asked the same question. Running will not smooth wrinkles or wash away gray, or give you a sunless tan. It will not earn you a six-taco lunch, it will not raise your IQ, it will not actually turn back the clock, and it will not, no matter how heroic your efforts, gain you the slightest admiration of Halle Berry or George Clooney.
The hard reality of this hit me on the last run of my second month. I had worked my way up to a little over a mile. As I shuffled along at a turtle's pace, I imagined what might happen if I really stuck to this—what it would be like if I made a solid commitment to wake up early every few days for the next year no matter what, and get out and withstand the pain wherever it lodged and beat in my body. I tried to visualize the person I'd become if I reached the point where I could easily pop off three to five miles and came to the appalling realization that I'd still be the same guy—a thinner (I've been told), more energetic (I've been told), sharper (I've been told) guy who is not a day younger, still needs to protect his head from the sun, and never has to screen Hollywood calls. I was expecting miracles, but honestly, doesn't everyone? Running for running's sake was not what I signed up for.
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