Today, the thin veil between brilliance and madness was parted and, to quote the Muppets, Lileks (and I mean this with all admiration) "skipped a groove".
Key graphs:
"A day of small accomplishments. By which I mean none, I suppose. . . . Let’s glean the day and see what can be found.
"8:25 – 8:28: Shaved. I have discovered that not using the five-bladed razors auto-vibrate feature results in a closer shave. Turns out that when you turn on the vibration feature, the razor gets distracted and confused. Shave cream: Bath & Body Work’s “Barber” gel. It’s better than the Nivea I’ve been using for years, which is good, since I’m out of Nivea. Permanently. I will shave no more forever, Nivea-wise. It was reformulated a while ago to include a new fragrance. I did not want the new fragrance. I bought up as much pre-improvement stock as I could, and it’s taken a year to go through it. . .
"I am now resigned to scented shave cream, but at least it’s part of a consistent aroma profile, buttressed by auxiliary toiletries. And thus is our precarious grasp on order maintained. . .
"11:30 – 11:41: Working lunch. I cannot stand the peanut butter sandwich anymore. Between the double-fiber bread, which tastes like something you’d slide out of a box marked IKEA, and the super-chunk peanut butter, it’s like a mouthful of sawmill by-products and Elmer’s Glue. I had some cold cuts. Warmed them up in the microwave, which made them just cuts, I suppose. . . Anyway, I didn't have a drink for lunch today. Didn't even have dessert.
"Had an apple.
"12:20: Off to the office. On the job. I’ll stop the recap here, because the quotidian details cease to fascinate at this point.
I am no stranger to obsessive-compulsive-disorder. but. whoa!
I am reminded of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man (rocking) "Wopner's on at at 5. Quantas, Quantas never crashed."
Except that Lileks is brilliant and Dustin Hoffman's character was autistic.
Maybe more like "Quantas, Quantas never crashed MUWAHAHAHAHAH!"
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