Never Underestimate the Power of Soup

I always thought that was a good ad for Campbell's . . .
When we bought this wreck of a house, we had a home inspector come by and give it the once over. What a hack. Seriously, this guy did not have it together. I wasn't too concerned because I have a good friend who is a contractor and he was going to take a look at the place as well.

At the end of his "inspection", he and I sat down to go over the good, the bad and the ugly. He said that the shower in the bathtub did not work and then he put his hand to the side of his mouth like we were sharing some sort of inside joke, "I don't know how these people have been living this way." This all did not seem right.

Once the inspector left, I mentioned the shower to the owners. They looked at me like I was crazy. We all crammed into the bathroom and the seller turned the water on, pulled up the little do-hickey on the spout and the shower sprang to life. "Sometimes it sticks", explained the seller. So we have a shower do-hickey that sticks from time to time.

Yesterday morning when I got in the shower, the do-hickey stuck. And I mean stuck good. I gave it the heave-ho and "voila" the shower came on and I didn't think twice about it. Until . . .

When I got out of the shower, there was a plastic widget in the tub. "That's funny", I thought. "Wonder where that came from," I said as I glanced suspiciously at the water spout.

This morning the shower did not work.

Pull the do-hickey up, cram it down, makes no difference.

So I started the bath water and headed to the kitchen to make some coffee.

I do not take baths.

1) Because I am not 5 years old
B) I am not a female

If a man wants to sit in hot water for an hour he can sit in a jacuzzi or invite his buddies over for dinner without informing the wife (in which case, he may be in hot water considerably longer than an hour).

I let the tub fill up and climbed in. Kinda felt sort of . . . quiet. Veerrry quiet. Without the sound of running water, I could hear the bathroom clock ticking. And water did feel good so . . . I guess it was . . . nice. Quiet, warm. Like climbing back into bed sort of.

Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . .

Now to business. This, I understand not. I guess what you do is stand up in the tub and scrub the parts that need scrubbing and then sit back down to rinse. But now you are in what basically amounts to dirty dish water. Where to you go to get rinsed off from rinsing off?

I sat there feeling like a pot roast in a stew. Not right.

Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . .

Sometimes when I shower I just stand there and let the water rush over me for a minute or so. So being able to lay back in the warm water was nice. And the quiet was nice.

Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . .

But seriously. Human soup, people.

Human. Soup.