I Am A Dad: I Am Here to Help . . .

So little Annie is teething. She has one tooth bottom, center that is visible and the one next to it is trying to break through. Anna-ba-lu is less than thrilled.

All this is compounded by the fact that Annie seems to have an aversion to having strange objects put in her mouth. When you give her a new toy, she usually spends quite a bit of time exploring it with her hands before jamming it in her mouth.

So when we try and give her teething rings, frozen washcloths etc, she just won't have it.

She spits teething tabs out and the numbness from baby oragel seems to upset her as much as the teething does. I have checked the owner's manual and the Internet for answers but nothing seems to be working. Lately I have been googling "For the love of all that is holy and good on God's green earth, how much longer is this going to last?" with mixed results.

Last night Annie was having a particularly rough go of it and all three of us were on edge as a result. The wife was comforting her in the nursing chair.

Me: Do you want me to dose her with baby Tylenol before she goes to bed?

Wife: Yeah, that's a good idea

Me: Turn her head

I filled the eye dropper and the wife pointed the wee-one's face to the ceiling. As soon as I got the eye dropper in Bella's mouth and started to dispense the thick purple goo, Annie jerked her face away causing me to squeeze some of the goo on her cheek while she simultaneously spit out what did make it in all over the wife.

The battle was joined.

I pulled her face back around and tried to get a second shot at it but Annie had clamped her lips shut and shook her head side to side causing me to spread the remainder of the Tylenol syrup all over her face.

The wife shot me a look that said, "Get it IN her face, not ON her face!"

I shot the wife a look that said, "I thought you were going to hold her STILL!"

I scrambled to the changing table, grabbed a washcloth and dipped it in a bowl of water.

"Not THAT!" The wife snapped - "that's for changing diapers!"

Beginning to bump up against the edges of my limited patience, I threw the wet washcloth in the trash, grabbed another and headed to the bathroom sink.

The wife toweled the little one off.

Me: Anything else? (meaning, "may I be excused?")

Wife: No (meaning, "I think you have done enough damage for now")

I headed for the couch, a book and a beer (not in that order).

Once the appropriate amount of time had passed, I crept back to the nursery.

Me: Hows she doin?

Wife: She's almost asleep

Me: Do you need anything?

Wife: No, we're fine

Me: If you want, I can squirt Tylenol all over her face again . . .

Wife: =spent the rest of the evening laughing about it all=

I am a Dad: I am here to help.