"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
- John 16:33
The past 5 years have been ones of upheaval for me personally. Over those years I have come to a set of 5 guiding phrases that I find myself repeating like a mantra. Those phrases are:
1) That Figures
2) We Shall See
3) Keep Calm - Rock On
4) Slow and Steady
5) I don't feel Strongly About That
I thought I would write a series of posts on these phrases - not for YOU, you understand - but for me - to help clarify my thinking about them.
"That Figures"
No less than Jesus Christ himself promised us that we would have troubles. Things won't always go our way. And yet, I (used to) find myself getting exasperated, angry, incensed (even) when my day would not roll out according to the script I had written in my head. I am learning to believe John 16:33.
Sh*t is going to go wrong today - I PROMISE you. It's okay, it may harm you, it may maim you but most likely it won't kill you.
I no longer expect the coffee maker to work. I don't expect my car to start. On the upside, I am greatly pleased when the coffee maker DOES work and the car DOES start.
There are people who go their whole lives without the beating I have had in the past 5 years. And that's fine (please understand - this is not "poor me-ism". As a church leader recently exclaimed upon hearing my story "THAT IS FU*KED UP!"). But there is a certain depth of character that I have felt that I don't think I would have without the hardships of the past 5 years.
I am not suggesting people who don't suffer are more superficial. I am just saying that I was more superficial before my recent suffering. Me. Not you. Me.
Have I gone from optimistic to pessimistic? No. Both are false extremes. I am learning to BELIEVE Jesus in John
16:33. I am becoming more REALISTIC. And I suppose that is maturity.
More and more, when things go wrong in my day, it doesn't surprise me. I am not entirely caught off-guard and consequently I do not experience as much frustration. My past suffering has brought more present peace. Nowadays, when things go wrong, I mostly stop, shrug, and say, "That figures".
Trouble is exactly what was promised.
"That figures".
7 comments:
Good article.
For me, it helps to continualy give thanks for things that never happen- "Thank You Lord for not allowing me to weave in front of that Semi while jogging this morning. In your mercy, you take such great care of me!" It just seems to put everything in a better perspective.
Great post, Matt. I feel this exact same way. For me, the shit-storm of suffering started when I was 12, but I feel it has given me a lifetime of 1) not being surprised by bad stuff (like you say), 2) being able to REALLY be empathetic with others in their suffering, 3) perspective on what really matters, 4) a deeper appreciate of the good times.
I admit that my life was so hard from ages 12-28 that I always joked (and everyone else did too) that I was done with hard stuff, that life would be a breeze from there on out because all the bad stuff had been packed into my adolescence. Though I was only joking, I think I KIND OF believed it and have been finding myself really ticked that things are so rough right now. Like, "Hello God! Remember? I said I was DONE! I believe I've learned all the lessons so I'd like to coast now...mmmkay?" Ha.
My friends always joke that at least I'll probably never get cancer, because what are the chances? I mean, seriously. Lately, I feel like the chances are good. There must still be more for me to learn.
This post was a great reminder. This will be a fun series to read. (Well, maybe not "fun", but beneficial). :)
Oh goodness, Rachel. We need to grab a beer/coffee/beer made with coffee. I thought I had endured a lifetime of suffering by the time I was 18 (seriously - I used to give my testimony and people would sob).
Turns out, nope.
Maybe there is a finite amount of suffering that needs to occur. If I take on more than my fair share, maybe someone else has it a little easier . . .
Then again, emmer-effer! It gets old.
Well, thanks for enduring a bunch of crap so the rest of us could benefit from your lessons. Have you seen that poster of the ship sinking over at despair.com? Here, I'm gonna find the link:
http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html
So, in your case, the poster wouldn't have the Mistakes part (I guess! I don't know much of what the last five years have held for you, so I'm totally going out on a limb here.), but I dunno, it's funny anyway.
Whatever the case may be, "that figures" is way more mature and true than "I'm out of here" or "Everybody else sucks" or "God hates me."
I'm digging the glimpses of y'all's journey...
My babysitter, the one who ran away with my dad, used to say "Expect the worse and you'll never be disappointed." Terrible, I know, but sometimes it works for me.
When you say that you “endured a lifetime of suffering by the time you were 18” you remind me of Tina who, interestingly, I talked to just this morning - she is going through a bit of a struggle right now because her dad just passed away. This led us to discuss her mom who passed away when she was 10. Although I knew this when she and I were 15 and glued at the hip, it didn't affect me the same that it does today now that I am an adult and a mom myself. It tears me up when I think of the struggles she went through and yet I was there, the whole time, during those moments of heartache not understanding, knowing, or grasping the severity of it. In reading your blog over the past few years I feel the same way about you. It wreaks havoc on my heart that you endured that type of pain and I was oblivious to it.
Lori - Love Despair.com! My all-time favorite is "Meetings: Because none of us is a dumb as all of us"
Ang - We were all kids back then without enough sense to know what we had or didn't have. I am reminded of a quote:
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. --Plato
Yes, meetings! Funny enough, I had postcard-sized prints of both Meetings and Mistakes hanging in my cubicle back when I had an office job.
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