Think of the Children

Me: I just went to Walmart for the first time and it was like entering the promised land

Wife: O, brother

Me: It's like they put a king-sized grocery store and a king-sized Target under the same roof as a half-sized Home Depot

Wife: We are not shopping at Walmart

Me: I checked the prices on a few things there and everything is cheaper! The aisles are so wide that three carts can fit side-by-side!

Wife: You are not allowed to shop at Walmart. They use forced child labor to stock their shelves in the middle of the night.

Me: Give me a break

Wife: Seriously five-year-olds. Slave labor.

=Later that same night=

Me: Hey, how come we are watching a movie in the dark in the family room while EVERY LIGHT IN THE LIVING ROOM IS STILL ON?

Wife: Huh?

Me: Somewhere, a five-year-old who was laid off from Walmart is shoveling coal into a power plant just so we can waste electricity. Can't we turn the lights off when we aren't using them? Think of the children . . .

Wife: Oh shut up