On The Inability to Pray for Others

A dear friend asked me a question recently:

You know...too much of the time I feel that I am so wrapped up with my own needs and worries that I don't have the capacity to love and pray for others to the extent I would like. Do you know of ways to remedy this?

My Response:

My most desperate prayer is a groan.

When God grants me the strength, I pray, "Jesus help me"

After a week or so of that I come to "Thank you for the blessings of my difficulties"

Then "Help me to see beauty"

Then "Flow through me to others"

And that's usually when I begin to love others enough to pray for them.

I am not sure I believe this but I sort of do: You cannot pray out of your own strength - The ability to pray is a grace given by God. if you can't muster a prayer its because God is not allowing it - Ask why he is allowing you to feel desolate and alone - he is showing you something or teaching you something or removing something from you. When we can't pray, its because God is breaking us - the question is, "to what purpose?"

Two common explanations for the inability to pray for others are:

1) You have sin in your life that is blocking that
2) You simply don't love others enough

I find both of those pretty thin gruel.

I think a better explanation is similar to why you shouldn't swim after eating - you blood is rushing inward to your digestive system where it is needed - there isn't enough in your extremities to avoid cramping.

When we can't pray for others its because we are in a pseudo-state of survival spiritually speaking. That energy is needed to be turned inwards at the moment. God needs you to digest something and make it a part of you before you go out "swimming" with others.

So groan. Beg for help in the simplest of prayers. Thank God for the furnace of adversity. Ask God to help you see goodness. Submit yourself to his purposes. Then pray like the spiritual powerhouse you were created to be.

But then again, what do I know?