Dress Codes

So last week, I received the following e-mail from the management at my office:

To All Employees

From: Management

Please observe the following dress code guidelines at all times:

All men must wear ties and long sleeve shirts (suit jackets are optional), all women must wear dresses that cover the knees along with nylon stockings and closed toed shoes, and long pants are an option for women but must be worn with a turtle neck.

These guidelines must be followed at all time during (winter, spring, summer & fall months) NO EXCEPTIONS!

If dress code is not followed by employee they will be sent home to change without pay, by your department manager.

Thank you, and enjoy your day.

I could feel my face starting to get hot and I started a reply e-mail but stopped short of writing it. "The ladies have it much worse than the men. No need to make a stink about it because one of the gals will." (I had a couple of the ladies specifically in mind) . . . .

A few minutes later, I received the following e-mail entitled, "Now that I have your attention, here is the REAL dress code"

To: All Employees

From: Management

Please observe the following dress code guidelines at all times:

1. No Beach type footwear or attire
2. No sheer, low cut or thin strapped tops
3. No tops that reveal the midriff area
4. Undergarments must be worn at all times, but not
visible
5. Shoes must be worn at all times
6. No shorts
7. No sweat outfits of any kind
8. No miniskirts
9. No jeans that are frayed or with holes.

Please observe the following guidelines on “Business Dress” days, Monday thru Thursday:

1. No jeans, denim skirts, corduroy, fringe or tennis shoes

Please use good judgment on “Casual Day”. (If you are not sure an item is appropriate, then it probably isn’t).

Thank you for creating a professional, yet comfortable image.

The first e-mail was a joke but also served to provide some perspective. Not funny, man. Not funny . . . . (I'm still not clear how they plan on enforcing #4 . . .)