She said, He heard, He said . . .

What the wife said: "I think we should be putting this in our food" (holding aloft a bag of Flaxseed Meal)

What I heard: "I think Ex-Lax would make an excellent dietary supplement for our family"

What I said: "Do NOT put that stuff in my food!"

What she said: "All right, calm down 'Mister Man'"