MRI Update

If you didn't have an MRI today, smile! You have had a great day!

The short version:

Holly had an MRI last night to take a look at a suspicious cyst among other things.

We will not get the results for two or three days and we will keep everyone updated when we do.

The long version:

How to you spell "MRI"? T.H.I.S.B.L.O.W.S.

Seriously.

All day yesterday the wife kept saying, "I don't want to have an MRI".

We headed to the medical complex yesterday evening and followed the big "MRI" signs they had posted along the way only to discover that we went to the wrong MRI complex. We got back in the car and drove around to the other side of the hospital.

As the wife was filling out the usual paperwork, I read through the brochure and noted that they offered anesthesia to children having an MRI. Anesthesia? That's weird. I guess it makes sense - you have to stay very still in the contraption and staying very still is not a skill most children have mastered.

I didn't know the half of it.

Standing on this side of the experience I now realize that they have to dope up the kids because any sane child would run screaming holy-hell-effin-mier murder once the tubo-de-muerte fires up. But we will come back to that . . .

As the nurse led us down the hall she quizzed us about every possible piece of metal we might have on ourselves. It all had to come off and go in a locker.

The room housing the MRI was expectedly sterile. The wife laid on the sliding bed and began to slowly unravel. She has a touch of claustrophobia and the idea of spending 30-45 minutes in something about the size of (and forgive me for saying it but there is just no more apt description) a coffin is not her cup of tea.

The technician offered her headphones and tuned in her favorite radio station for her to listen to throughout the process then the tech turned to me and offered me headphones to protect my ears. Protect my ears?

"When this thing starts, it is going to sound like a jackhammer running wild" said the tech. He wasn't kidding. The tech slid Holly into the tube and allowed me to stand at the opening holding onto her feet for comfort. The tech left the room and the fun began.

Seriously. Obscenely. Loud.

Imagine someone jackhammering on one side of you while a person on the other side occasionally let's loose with one of those irritating air horns that people bring to sporting events.

POWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOW - SCREEEEECH! - POWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOW - SCREECH! SCREEEECH! SCREEECH!

Every minute or so the voice of the tech would come through a loud speaker, "Now take a deep breath and hold it . . . . . . " POWPOWPOWPOWPOW - SCREEECH! "Okay, now breathe normally . . . "

I kept rubbing the wife's feet and occasionally I would look into the tube to make sure she was okay.

When it got really loud, I would pull one side of my headset off to get an idea of what she was going through (I would have just kept them off but I figured the tech would scold me). When the tech told her to hold her breath, I held mine as well.

"How on earth is she handling this?" I thought to myself . . . .

The good news is the projected 30-45 min only lasted 20 min and they pulled the wife out. She gave me a "seriously, nobody better mess with me the rest of the day" look. She was trashed.

As the wife was getting her things together I turned to the tech and said, "Why on earth is that thing so loud? Surely there must be a way to make these things more quiet."

The tech shrugged, "This one is a newer model - the other ones are louder."

Good grief. Unfortunately, this is probably not the last MRI experience for us but at least we know what to expect.

As we headed to the car, the wife said that the whole time during the MRI little Annabelle was squirreling around. At this stage she can hear and I can only imagine how disturbing the whole thing was to her - good thing she won't remember it . . . .

As we got in the car the wife turned and said, "I want a strawberry shake". "You got it", I replied.

Updates to follow . . . .