Chronic Prayers for Special Needs Families

I try to pray every morning. I mean intentionally sit down, pull out my cheat sheet and pray for everyone on it.

Naturally, the wee one is at the top of my list. But praying for something that in many ways will never get better can be rough.

Sometimes I pray in general: "God, heal her mind . . . heal her body . . ." Other times I pray more specifically - starting from her head and working my way down: Hydrocephalus, VP Shunt, Arnold Chiari II and so on . . .

But I always end my prayer for her the same way, "Lord, make her life beautiful - despite all the rest". I want my daughter's perception of her life to be wonderful. I want what all parents want - for my little one to enjoy life and be happy.

God spoke to me a couple weeks ago in the midst of my prayer and said, "Why don't you ask for the same thing for yourself?" See, while I want my daughter to be unconditionally happy, I have a bad habit of making my own happiness VERY conditional. I will be happy when I make more money, buy new dishes, lose some weight, and so on.

But life is RIGHT NOW and when you make your happiness conditional, you miss it. Like water running through your fingers.

So I have started to ask myself (and I have asked God to remind me) "What is beautiful in this moment?". Often it is the weather, a sunset, a friend and so on. And then I try to stop, acknowledge and give thanks.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what I want for my special needs daughter that I lose touch with what I want for myself. And really, I want for me what I want for her - I want my life to be beautiful - right NOW. Despite all the rest.

And you know what? It is. I am trying not to miss it. And I am giving thanks.