Bathtime

Disappointed

Well this sort of thing really creases me.

The other day, our neighbors gave us a small fortune in fresh lemons off the tree in their backyard. Wondering how we could put all those lemons to good use, I had a stroke of genius. I went to the store and picked up a simple little hand juicer so I could save the fresh lemon juice.

Only, when I tried to peel the label of the glass jar, this is what I ended up with:

NOTHING will get this gunk off. I tried scraping it and the glue just smeared. I soaked it in hot water - no good. I even pulled out the industrial solvent Goof Off but even that wouldn't work. You wanna know why? Because these people used the SAME GLUE NASA USES TO AFFIX THE HEAT TILES TO THE SPACE SHUTTLE. There is no sane reason why the label on a hand juicer needs to be THAT STUCK to the jar. It is just poor packaging plain and simple. And disappointing.

I am totally blogging about this, I thought to myself. People will pump their fists in solidarity and send me back-slapping e-mails.

So I stood there and juiced. And ruminated. And juiced. And stewed. And juiced some more.

Of course, I would have to start out by explaining how we have the greatest neighbors anyone could ask for. And how we stand at the fence sharing barley sodas and shooting the breeze from time to time . . .

I looked up from my juicing and noticed what a beautiful day it was outside and thought how nice it was that a paper-pusher like me got the chance to be doing something in the kitchen so elemental as juicing lemons . .

And then I will write about how I plan on marinating some chicken in the lemon juice over night and throwing it on the BBQ after work tomorrow . . . and how there is nothing like good grilled chicken in fresh lemon juice . .

I looked at the inside of a just-juiced lemon rind and saw that it was stripped bare - the juicer was working like a charm. This is so great . . . I should have thought of juicing lemons before . . .

Now where was I? Oh yeah, then I will come back around to the theme of the post which is disappointment and how . . . wait? Is that right?

I thought as a cool breeze wafted through the window along with the afternoon sun . . . Man, it really is a beautiful day . . . and this is pretty fun work all things considered . . .

Oh, yeah. Disappointment. What was it that got me so worked up a few minutes ago? That's right! The crummy label glue!

But now that I think about it, and all things considered, you would have to be a dope to let something so small as a gummy lable ruin such a peaceful moment. Oh that's right. I'm disappointed.

In myself.

Photo tour (for anyone who might be interested): This is the kitchen counter that our dear friends put in for us last year. Just to the left is the coffee maker. Just to the right is the sink with a window directly above it that looks out on our backyard. Just out of the frame to the left is a beautiful photo of two friends taken one winter day in Manhattan. Next to that is the cheap (and crummy) wireless speaker we bought 5 years ago to celebrate being in escrow on the house. Next to that, a framed picture of our beloved friends the Kesslers. Next, a photo of my mother feeding a giraffe at the Wild Animal Park. Next, the empty hummingbird feeder that has been there for a week - waiting for me to buy more mix and fill it. Next, a photo collage frame featuring our two cats who passed away. The wife gave it to me on my birthday at our favorite restaurant the day after one of them died. Next over, the cup has Annie's bottle brush in it.

In the foreground, the bowl was a wedding gift 17 years ago. The cutting board is from an Eddie Bauer picnic set that my mother bought for us as an engagement gift 17 years ago. Then, of course, the famed new juicer.

"Disappointed."

What a dope I am . . .

The Office

Me: You like to bump fists with people when you pass them. You're a fist-bumper.

Co-worker: Yeah, I do.

Me: I never know what to do when I see you coming at me with your fist out. Sometimes I just blank out and pass you by.

Co-worker: Yeah, you leave me hangin'

Me: I am really more of a chest bumper. Maybe we could all bump chests when we pass each other in the hall . . .

Co-worker: Yeah, but only on casual days

Quote of the Day

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
- G.B.SHAW

Oh Yeah, I will be pooping in someone's shoe later . . .

Just. Not. Right.

Seriously?

Pachelbel's Canon

I play a little guitar (seriously, it fit's in my briefcase). No, really. I can work my way around a camp song or two and I am just self-assured enough that I have led some sizable groups in a chorus now and then. But I started on the cello.

In the fourth grade, the music teacher comes by all the classes and wants to know who wants to learn to play music. I signed up and when I went to the first day they asked me what I wanted to play. "Guitar" I said.

"How about cello?" they replied, "It's sort of like a guitar . . . ."

I spent the next 4 years murdering the cello. On the upside, I was able to pawn my cello in my senior year of high school for a payment on a motorcycle. My mother was about as thrilled as you would expect her to be.

I even took cello lessons during the summer. The summer between my 7th and 8th grade year, I spent the entire summer playing Pachelbel's Canon.

I have not been able to get that dang song out of my head ever since.

I had no idea anyone felt the same way as I do (language warning):

EVERY WORD OF THIS IS TRUE

100 Years of Special Effects

HT: neatorama

Admission Requirements of U.S. and Canadian Dental Schools

by Ron Koertge

Is your furniture in mint condition?
Has the loathing settled down?
Do you have many commemorative coins?
Do you know what the lighthouse stands for
in poetry?
Do you regard "uppers" and "lowers" as versions
of the class struggle?
If you could snow, would you?
Could you wear a red hunting shirt rather than
the traditional white smock?
When someone murmurs, "But my first love
is the oboe," are you disheartened?
If you were a bird. what would be your wingspan?
If someone said. his gums were clandestine, would
you look forward to the drilling?
Do you know what makes bipeds wild with joy?
Could you be specific?

Festival-Style Grilled Italian Sausage Sandwiches

"These delicious grilled sausage sandwiches are my attempt to duplicate the ones I ate when I was growing up and attended Italian street festivals in the North End of Boston. They come together really quickly, and make a great summer lunch. Choose hot or mild sausages as you prefer."

LINK HERE

Bratwurst Stew

"Using leftover brats hurries along the preparation of this satisfying stew from Deborah Elliott of Ridge Springs, South Carolina. 'When time is short, this flavorful combination is so good and so easy, I usually have all the ingredients handy,' she adds."

RECIPE LINK

Fear Not, Dear Friend, But Freely Live Your Days

by Robert Louis Stevenson

Fear not, dear friend, but freely live your days
Though lesser lives should suffer. Such am I,
A lesser life, that what is his of sky
Gladly would give for you, and what of praise.
Step, without trouble, down the sunlit ways.
We that have touched your raiment, are made whole
From all the selfish cankers of man's soul,
And we would see you happy, dear, or die.
Therefore be brave, and therefore, dear, be free;
Try all things resolutely, till the best,
Out of all lesser betters, you shall find;
And we, who have learned greatness from you, we,
Your lovers, with a still, contented mind,
See you well anchored in some port of rest.

Office Kid

I don't ask people to stay late. Ever.

When I walk into a business and see that they are about to close, my heart starts to race - "Can I get in and out before closing time? Am I going to be in the employees' way as they are shutting down and closing up?" If I think I can get in and out without any trouble, I make a dash for it and make a dozen apologies along the way. The way I see it, these people have lives, some have families. They have been here all day and put in their hours - who am I to ask them to sacrifice for me? I should have gotten my act together and gotten there sooner. More often than not, I just turn around, head back to the car and make plans to come back the next business day.

I don't think most people feel this way - and my business is no different.

Years ago I had an assistant who was in his early 20's. He had a sharp wit and was quick on his feet. Most days we had fun working together. One evening a client had him on the phone asking him to stay late for some loan documents that we all knew would never come. Finally my assistant declared in an exasperated tone, "I have to go pick up my kids!" The client immediately relented and I almost fell out of my chair in laughter. Not only did he not have kids, but he was chronically single.

Well now he can back it up. I give you, The Office Kid.

Soul Food

Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

- Acts 15:36-41

Lap Dawg

Big Dawggies

Since our adoption of the Beeze, I have come to really appreciate big dawgs. Of course Buckley is only 80 lbs but everyone shakes their head when they see him and says he must be 90 at least. I think it is because our modern concept of dawg has been transformed to understand "dawg" means something you can tote under one arm.

Check out this listing of some of the world's largest breeds - the gentle giants of the dawggie world.

HT: neatorama

Blackberry Pie

by Jennifer Rae Vernon

is kernels of juice
blue, mom makes it do
magic heat to vanilla ice cream
purple dream

there were many nice things,
the corduroy pinafore
the daily notes in lunch sack
of a smiley face and curly cue hair
your mama loves you, and do great
with a thermos of homemade soup

dad too, he rocked me on front porch
after seven yellow jacket stings
i howled through the valley
in baking soda paste
while he sang, in the big rock candy mountain...

but just like grandma vernon always said
don't bother doing anything nice for your children
they'll only remember the bad things, anyway
like when she tethered my dad
to the front yard tree
so he could play when she was at work

was that bad? a ruined childhood?
bless her heart
and pie too, is sometimes
tart

Medical Update - 8/25/09 (Part 1)

EYES

For some reason, children with SB tend to have trouble with their eyesight and so the docs typically want them checked out as soon as possible. I don't know if it is because of the neurological nature of SB, or because there is a connection to the hydrocephalus or if it is because they are typically put on ventilators right after birth (improper dosages of oxygen the first few weeks can even lead to blindness).

Annie had her eyes checked a few months ago for the first time. How they check an infant's vision, I have no idea. The wife flew solo on that appointment so you would have to ask her. The upshot was that she had a considerable astigmatism and was in need of glasses (great - one more thing, right?)

Well we had our follow-up appointment with a more experienced physician last week and he basically gave her the all clear. Actually, he first gawggled at how cute she is - then he explained that she probably has better distance vision right now than near vision but that in time she would follow her mother and have better near vision than far. No need for glasses so far. So that's good.

URODYNAMIC STUDY

**Warning! Pee-Pee-Poo-Poo Stuff straight ahead!**

The remainder of this post will use the words: Urethra, Rectum, Catheter, Electrodes, and possibly Anus if I am feeling up to it. You have been warned.

The urodynamic study is something that has been lingering like a black cloud of anxiety my mental horizon. First of all it's DOWN THERE STUFF and no one wants to talk about DOWN THERE STUFF. Second of all, it could result in a catheterization regime. YOU WANT ME TO STICK A TUBE UP WHERE??!!

Of course, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it to be. First, the wee one was stripped down to her birthday suit and laid down on an exam bed. After some preparation, the doc inserted a tube into her urethra (the hole where the pee comes out) until the tube reached her bladder and urine flowed through the tube. Out came 30 ml. Check.

As it turns out, the tube (catheter) actually had two tubes inside it - one to pump water in and one to drain it out - we will get to that later.

Next the doc inserted a tube into the rectum and attached two electrodes - one to each side of the anus (THERE! I SAID IT!). By electrode, I mean the sticky patches with wires that they attach to your chest to monitor heart rate (only these were much smaller).

All the tubes and wires attached to a machine with a laptop computer. The nurse clicked the mouse and water started flowing from the machine, and up the tube into Annie's bladder. The computer monitored how much water was going in, and the pressure inside the bladder (blue line on the computer screen). The tube in the rectum monitored the pressure in the abdomen outside the bladder (red line on the screen). You subtract the red line from the blue line to get the actual pressure in the bladder (green line on the screen).

The electrodes monitored the muscle contractions (the ability to "hold it" when you want to).

The trick was keeping Annie still and quiet. If she laughed, giggled, screeched or sneezed, her abdomen would jostle and all the lines on the computer would go squiggly. When this would happen, the doc would click the mouse and mark the graph: Sneeze, Fussing, Talking and so on.

As would be expected, at some point so much water had gone in that it started to leak out - that's when the test was over.

Since Annie had lain so still and quiet (mostly) the doc had the time to do a second round so that she could take an average of the two. The doc attached a syringe to the outgoing tube in Annie's bladder and pulled the same amount of water out that had gone in. Then she fired up the laptop and the water started flowing in again.

Afterwards, we talked about the results. The doc recommended we start catheterizing but said we could wait on it if we wanted to. The doc also wanted to send down the initial 30ml of urine to the lab to have it checked for any signs of infection.

Details of the results to follow . . . I need a break from all this DOWN THERE STUFF for a while . . .

Soul Food

Then some Jews came from Antioch and Iconium and won the crowd over. They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the city, thinking he was dead. But after the disciples had gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city.

- Acts 14:19-20

"June" Gloom

San Diegans are familiar with the phenomenon of June gloom. As the seasons change from spring to summer, our days become gray and cloudy in the mornings. It always burns off by the afternoon into glorious blue skies and the type of weather that pushes the lucky few who have the day off to the beaches. But almost every morning the day starts cool and quiet. I love it.

Somehow it makes the transition from 60 degrees and dark at night to 80 degrees and sunny by afternoon a little easier on the mind, body and soul.

Lately we have been seeing a reprisal of June Gloom. The earth is shrouded in gray at sun-up as if Southern Cal has punched the snooze button, gathered the sheets under it's chin and rolled over to get 10 more minutes.

I try to spend a few minutes every morning on the back deck with a cup of coffee before considering the grind of the day. Maybe take a book or the keyboard with me. The day will heat up. The physical temperatures will rise and there is the possibility that mental and emotional temperatures will rise once the workday begins as well.

But for now - in this moment, we sit quietly, breathing in the cool damp seaside air and relishing the quiet. If only there was a way to bottle the morning, keep it chilled, take it out in the heat of the afternoon or in the heat of a moment and take a big draught.

That's a type of gloom I don't mind . . .

Quote of the Day

The faces in the band room are open and bright. The eyes are a row of shiny buttons, unclouded by the opacities of irony. Attentive, joyful groups of children like this often provoke adults to say goofy things like, "The children are our future!" Of course this statement completely ignores the fact that everyone who has not stopped absorbing oxygen is our future. Children are fascinating, and surprising, and at their best, heavenly sprites, but before you go in too deeply for the idea that the world would be a better place if we were all more childlike, try sticking three kids in a room with two toys. You'll witness conflict-resolution techniques synthesizing the very worst of the Marquis de Sade and the World Wrestling Federation. The world is like it is because, on the whole, we tend to act like children.

- From Population 485 by Michael Perry

Buy The Book - proceeds to benefit ACF

Rerun

The dawg has already heard this story . . .

Late Afternoon Light

17

So how did we celebrate 17 years last night? Japanese take out.

Why yes, that is a hummingbird feeder in the background. Our neighbor's tree is full of humming birds.

I took the feeder down yesterday and washed it only to discover we were out of hummingbird food - Isn't it just sugar water anyway?

We are looking forward to a relaxing day together today - maybe the zoo, a museum at Balboa Park, the beach, old town, who knows? I bought Eggs, Rolls, OJ and BACON to get us started on the right foot this morning. . .

Now if only I could get back to sleep (it's 4am and I have been up for hours) . . .

Quote of the Day

It is supposed that fire appeared on this planet right about the time vegetation took root. Lightening struck a patch of dry something and birthed a primeval force of nature. The term implies a certain brutishness, but fire is anything but brutish. It is lightfooted and shamanic, dancing between the visible and invisible, undoing matter one collapsed molecule at a time, wreaking utter destruction with a softer touch than breath. Its poor cousins, wind and water, are one dimensional rubes by comparison. Wind is all push, push, push. Water is suffocating, but passively so. And even when water gets it together to be a torrent or a tsunami, it is but wet wind. Fire is at once elemental and otherworldly. Fire dances on the grave of all it destroys. Fire is serious voodoo.

- From Population 485 by Michael Perry

Buy The Book - proceeds to benefit ACF

I Am Not "Dumb" Now

Whoa



HT: Neatorama

Annabelle's Circle

While we were pregnant last year, my wife had a vision.

Which led to an outpouring of support.

Which we hope to pay forward in some meaningful way.

For Annie's 1st birthday, friends of ours commissioned this beautiful window which now hangs in our family room as a reminder and an inspiration.

Crawling

One of the things that has been quite an experience for us is all the secondary effects of Annabelle's condition. For instance, when we first brought her home from the hospital, she could not have any pressure on her back due to her surgery.

That meant she could not sit in a car seat, bumbo or papazan chair. She had to either lay face down, or be held. For TWO MONTHS. Imagine not being able to put your child down for two months unless they were sleeping. The day we got the "all clear" from the docs to put Annie on her back, the wife called immediately and instructed me to come home with a Baby Bjorn or else . . .

Mobility is another one. Since Annabelle does not seem to have sensation below her abdomen, mobility has never been high on her list of priorities. So far, she can roll from her stomach to her back and, with a little help, from her back to her stomach. But in part because of the weakness in her trunk, she has not managed to go from lying down to sitting up on her own.

This means that the idea of putting her on the floor with an array of toys to occupy herself doesn't really work. She will pretty much just lay there. Which also means that some of the typical developmental milestones go out the window. Is she stacking things? Putting smaller objects inside bigger objects? Well, not so much - since that is pretty hard to do lying flat on your back.

But we are working on it! Everyday we do therapy sessions with the wee one. We usually do them on our bed so whenever we take her into our bedroom, she starts to laugh and squeal in excitement - she loves it.

We usually start with a series of sit ups where she grabs our hands and pulls herself to a sitting position. Then we practice rolling from back to front and back again. Then it is time to crawl. We lay toys out of her reach and cheer her on.

She doesn't crawl so much but rather does a series of strategic falls. She will push herself up and then lunge to one side. This pulls her leg on the opposite side up an inch or so which then serves as an anchor. Then she repeats the process by lunging to the opposite side and pulling the other leg up.

Usually this is accompanied by her grunting out "Goooh Grl!" Which is her version of "Good Girl" - our most common cheer.

It really is something to she the little munchkin struggling from one end of the bed to the other, cheering herself on:

With all the effort she has to put into it, you can see why crawling might not be foremost in her mind. But like I said, we are working on it.

17 Years Ago Today

The wife and I were married.

This is a photo of the college singing / acting group we met in.


The wife is standing third from the right - you can recognize her because it looks like the hair spray can exploded on the left side of her head.

I am standing in the back row and for some reason I am the only one (other than our sound guy on the far left) not dressed in my matching teal button down.

I actually think that fabric pattern is now illegal in 37 states unless you are over the age of 70 - and even then, it can only be used as window treatments for people who are already suffering from dementia (it would be cruel to make a sane person stare at curtains of the stuff).

It has been quite a ride, these past 17 years. We have lived in 11 homes in three states. We shared our lives with two cats who we received as kittens and buried in a corner of our backyard when they died of old age.

There have been marriages and divorces, births and deaths. We have alternately pushed one another to the edge and pulled one another back from the brink. A couple years more and we will have spent more of our lives together than we ever did apart.

What a blessing it is to look over at your friend, your partner, your spouse, and realize that you have history together. Innumerable smiles and tears and more moments of grace and beauty than can be remembered.

And when things get tough, as they do from time to time, what an assurance to have a woman who stubbornly declares that she would rather be unhappy with you than happy without you.

17 years.

As I sit here at my dining room table, the house is silent. My wife is at work, my daughter is down for her morning nap down the hall to my left, the dawg is asnooze on his bed in the family room to my right. When I look up from the keyboard, I see the nectarine tree in our backyard through the kitchen window. Everywhere I look I see HER. Everywhere I look I see HOME.

We will celebrate this evening when my wife returns from work and we will take the day to do nothing but concentrate on our little family tomorrow.

Marriage can be hard, no doubt about it. But when I see my wife across a sunlit space with our baby girl in her arms I know I am glimpsing a corner of heaven.

And I am reminded that this really is a terribly beautiful life.

Happy Anniversary, my love. You are my home.

Please Tell Me I Can Get One Here!

KFC introduces the fried chicken, bacon and cheese sandwich (no bread - because everyone knows bread is HEALTHY hippie food . . .)

How Can You Not Love It?

Take a look from my perspective . . . How can anyone think this is not an absolute miracle . . .

LINK HERE

Population 485

I just finished reading another Michael Perry book: Population 485. If you liked Truck: A Love Story, this one is more of the same.

I have found both these small-town memoirs to be very relaxing. Sort the same way I feel about the movie "On Golden Pond". I know it's not the world's greatest movie - it just helps me to take a deep breath - in with the good air, out with the bad.

I hope to share a few of my favorite passages with you over the coming days in an effort to get you to pick it up.

First one:

The farm was a rock patch. And where the rocks stopped, the swamps began. It was a tough place to subsist, let alone thrive. During one nine-year stretch, when five of the ten Jabowski kids were in braces, Stanislaw worked night and swing shifts at the munitions plant in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, arranging his farm work around the full-time job. He'd feed the sheep and cows, do the milking, drive forty miles to the munitions plant, pull a full shift, drive home, and do all the chores again before sleeping. Night shift or swing shift, the cows swung with him. Somewhere in there - I can't imagine - he planted crops and put up hay and sleepwalked through the month-long-twenty-four-hour-a-day-grind of lambing season. I regret to report that there was a shamefully mirror-intensive period in my life in which I engaged briefly and quite ineffectively in the sport of bodybuilding, one of the reasons I just couldn't keep at it was because I'd watch my bulging, lubricated compadres admiring the cut of their triceps, or the belly of their biceps, and I'd think of Stanislaw Jabowski, with his bowed shoulders and little strap-iron muscles, and how, within four days of head-to-head choring and bomb-building, he would leave those baked-fish-nibbling showpieces whimpering in the damp corner of the milkhouse. Somehow, pectorals the size of beef roasts seemed pointless.

- Michael Perry in Population 485

Buy The Book - proceeds to benefit ACF

Shenendoah

I have no idea how this got on our Netflix list but I doubt it was my wife who put it there. A seriously great flick! The trailer makes it seem like the movie is all about the civil war but it isn't. It is a movie about family, about community and has Jimmy Stewart for good measure!

Not necessarily a "Summer Movie" per-se but an excellent flick.



BTW - there is one scene where JS is on the front porch with his future son-in-law, giving him marital advice. Man, I wish I would have watched that scene 17 years ago!

And scene where JS chides his son for not respecting his elders - so funny I had to rewind and watch time and again. Great stuff.

Dad

"Depression is just anger without enthusiasm"

The last two weeks have been a bit unfortunate, with the Black Dog prowling and growling in the bushes outside the reach of the campfire light; I just lost enthusiasm for my enthusiasms. I think it’s lifted. The worst thing about Depression isn’t the sense that you’re ac-centuating the negative, it’s that you’re seeing things the way they really are, stripped of the illusions you use every day to divert yourself from the Yawning Maw of Futility. It’s the wind that blows off the snow and reveals the stone.

- Lileks

I know I have not been writing much lately - sorry. It is just that a smothering black cloud has descended on my soul. It's depression all right.

(BTW - if you have e-mailed me lately and not received a reply - I have your email and will reply in time. For some reason, I just can't manage an e-mail more than two sentances long lately. Please be patient with me.)

I am not big on the use of the word "depression". I think it gets bandied about more than it should. Have I been sad in the last two years? Sure. Have I been angry? Felt futility? Have there been days where I didn't know how I would make it from the office coffee maker to my desk without collapsing on all fours and howling for mercy? You bet. But have I been depressed? Mmmmm . . . I wouldn't go that far . . .

But here we are.

What drives a person to this place? Where all that once seemed bright is now burdened? Well, lack of sleep, for one. Work-related stress for another. Financial stress, stress having to do with extended family members, the constant, never-ending "Oh my effing God, is my daughter going to be okay?" sort of stress. (That last one doesn't seem to lessen with time btw).

As I have said before, part of my make up is to rally in a crises. When the flames of life are licking at your bedroom door and there is no other hope than a hero who bursts in to save you, I am your man. Jaw-set, piercing eyes and rock solid. But afterwards? Once the smoke has cleared? Keep the sharp objects outta my reach. Oh, and you better bring extra hankies because I am more likely than not poised to descend into a . . . . well, let's just say it ain't pretty. And any and all those feelings you may have had of "You're my hero" will most likely be unravelled in the ensuing days and weeks of . . . . well, it ain't pretty.

So why now? Why the black cloud these past few weeks? Who knows, I have rambling semi-coherant theories that I won't spell out here because they are twice as long as they are interesting.

I guess the best way to describe it is to relate a story from my college table-waiting days.

In college I worked for a few years at the Old Spaghetti Factory in downtown San Diego. This is what is known as a "turn-and-burn" restaurant. When your average patron spends under $10 for a meal, you ain't going to make any decent scratch unless you get those diners in and out - all about volume baby. This led to some pretty drastic actions from time to time.

We had these large oval trays that could accommodate 8-10 dinners if you knew how to stack them right. And I was one of only two or three who could muscle two of those trays at the same time - 16-20 dinners a trip.

One night I was asked to run some dinners to a large party in one of our back dining rooms. I hefted the first tray of dinners with my right hand and heaved the tray into position above my right shoulder.

I slid my left hand under the second tray, shimmied it out from off the serving counter and heaved it into position above my left shoulder. And I was off and running.

I angled the trays through the serving door and was greeted with the usual astonished onlookers . . . "Honey! Look at THAT guy! Isn't this place crazy fun?" Through the crowded lobby, "Scuze me folks! Comin' through!", down the hall past the bathrooms and into the back dining room.

All the tables had been set up as one long banquet table and there were about 35 hungry patrons who let out a cheer when they saw me come through the doors.

"Not here!" Exclaimed a fellow waiter - "those are my dinners for the next dining room over . . ."

I groaned, marshaled my strength and, partially buoyed by the all the attention, headed down the two stairs to the next dining room where another party had been set up identical to the first - long table, 35 people or so.

The second table let out a cheer while the first table groaned and I now had the full attention of 70-odd people while I muscled two increasingly heavy trays of pasta from one dining room to the next. That's when it all went wrong.

In my hurry, my exhaustion and my carelessness, I clipped one of the door jams with one of the trays and the plates shifted to one end. I compensated immediately and the plates shifted back - just a tad too far - the tray tipped in the other direction . . .

I shifted again, this time with more earnestness. Only, by doing so, I tipped the second tray, causing all those plates to shift . . . .

Cries of "Uh-Oh" went up from all 70 of my audience-members . . . both the trays shifted inwards, then outwards . . . I broadened my stance, bent my legs, bent at the waist . . . all in an effort to avoid the unthinkable . . . . plates of pasta were clattering from one end of each tray to the other . . .

And then it hit me. I can't save these dinners and only a fool would keep trying. I gave up, accepted my fate and let the two trays smash together like the cymbals of a philharmonic orchestra.

I was ankle deep in pasta and broken china.

A cheer went up from both tables - some people even stood and clapped.

What is my point? A few days ago I had decided that I just can't manage it all and felt like letting all the plates clatter to the floor. But unlike actual plates in a restaurant which fall in seconds, the platters of life can take days or weeks to reach their ignominious end.

It seems as if the last of my plates have arrived at their ultimate destination. What to do now? Take a bow, apologize, and head back to the kitchen to start all over again. . . . avoid the manager on the way . . . .

Oh, it's a depression, all right - but maybe I have reached the bottom . . . .

UPDATE:

I just heard this article on the radio

89 Years Ago Today

Christopher Robin's birthday

On this day, Daphne Milne, wife of writer A.A. Milne, gives birth to a son, who the couple name Christopher Robin Milne. Christopher Robin will be immortalized in A.A. Milne's books Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner.

Evening Star

by Edgar Allan Poe

'Twas noontide of summer,
And mid-time of night;
And stars, in their orbits,
Shone pale, thro' the light
Of the brighter, cold moon,
'Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
Her beam on the waves.
I gazed awhile
On her cold smile;
Too cold- too cold for me-
There pass'd, as a shroud,
A fleecy cloud,
And I turned away to thee,
Proud Evening Star,
In thy glory afar,
And dearer thy beam shall be;
For joy to my heart
Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
And more I admire
Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.

Quote of the Day

How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.

- Ronald Reagan

First Bounce House

Quote of the Day

There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

- Kurt Vonnegut

This One Sounds as Good as Any of the Others as Far as I am Concerned . . .

Parenting

Top 7 Parenting Websites

Onesie

Dang! I wish I had thought of that . . .

You Got To Roll With It Baby, Ooh Yeah!

3-Toof Tu-Tu

Quote of the Day

Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery.

- Lawana Blackwell

Temper Temper(ment) . . .

So TMST had a post today about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment which can be found on Facebook right now.

Here is what the web page says about it:

This Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment is a psychometric questionnaire designed to identify certain psychological differences.

I have taken a ream of these tests in high school, college, churches etc. (Are you an Otter or a Golden Retriever? Are you Logical or Emotional? Are you most or least likely to completely lose it and take out your office-mates in a wild rampage?)

I always come away with the same response: The stuff I agree with, I already knew - the stuff I don't agree with, well the test is obviously flawed.

So how did I do? Here's the results:

You are an ENFJ

Warm, empathetic, responsive and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs and motivation of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfil their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

Careers

Advertising account executive
Magazine editor
Therapist
Career or outplacement counselor
Corporate trainer
Bilingual education teacher
College professor: humanities
Fund raiser
TV producer
Occupational therapist
Holistic health practitioner
Marketing executive
Writer / journalist
Social worker
Human Resources professional

Hmmm . . . I don't see underpaid, overworked, harried paper-pusher on that list of occupations . . . . iiinteereessstiing . . .

So is it accurate? Don't ask me - ask those who know me. If you were to ask 10 people who know me you would probably get 10 different answers and opinions. That is of course because we all see each other through the lens of our own personalities (some have clearer lenses than others)

And I also suppose it all depends on the day / week / month that I take the test and that you ask my friends' opinions of the results.

College Prof does sound sort of fun though (except for the part where I would have to put up with the other profs). Fund Raiser is good skill to have I suppose. Writer/Journalist probably sounds the best to me. Human Resources Professional? Yeah. Right. I would rather dig ditches in a snowstorm at night.

Now where did I put that horoscope? Aaahhh, yes; it's buried under all these fortune-cookies . . . .

"Change is coming your way!"

(Let's just hope it isn't in the form of a handout on a freeway off-ramp . . . .)

Dawgs, Puppets and Rodeo - What's not to love??

I had trouble embedding this one so here is the link.

Tu-Tu

What Blogs Were Made For

First of all, I had never seen the original video and I LOVE IT!

Second of all, the mythbusters vid is great - good fun had by all . . .

Lovely

We should all seek out such moments.

Cheap and Yum: All Things Ramen

Check it out

Mobile

Party Pic #4

We have been wanting a mobile for Annie's crib since the day we brought her home but nothing struck our fancy. So for Annie's 1st b-day, our dear friend / aunt Kristy made an origami mobile by hand (currently hanging from the light fixture in the dining room). Proving once again that we have the best friends on earth!

UPDATE:

Ever since we hung the mobile above her bed yesterday morning, Annabelle has hardly slept a wink. She just lays in her crib, hooting, hollering, singing and coo-cooing (all happily). I think the AK Mobile is TOO good - we are all losing sleep over it . . . . THAT'S how bitchin' it is ;-)

Self-Portrait as a Bear

by Donald Hall

Here is a fat animal, a bear
that is partly a dodo.
Ridiculous wings hang at his shoulders
as if they were collarbones
while he plods in the bad brickyards
at the edge of the city, smiling
and eating flowers. He eats them
because he loves them
because they are beautiful
because they love him.
It is eating flowers which makes him so fat.
He carries his huge stomach
over the gutters of damp leaves
in the parking lots in October,
but inside that paunch
he knows there are fields of lupine
and meadows of mustard and poppy.
He encloses sunshine.
Winds bend the flowers
in combers across the valley,
birds hang on the stiff wind,
at night there are showers, and the sun
lifts through a haze every morning
of the summer in the stomach.

Cheap and Yum - Basic Ramen Cabbage Salad

To make a basic ramen cabbage salad:

- shred a cup of Napa cabbage and a cup each of red cabbage and carrot.
- Add cup dry roasted peanuts
- toss with boiled noodles and a dressing of 1 tablespoon each vinegar and sesame oil, a splash of lime juice, and a teaspoon sugar.

The Beeze and Uncle "J"

Party Pic #3

Somebody get this man a dawg . . .

If you were 11 years old, what one question would you ask the President?

What if the President of the United States granted you a one-on-one interview?

For that matter, how about interviewing Joe Biden, Colin Powell and Oprah?

Because that is exactly what 11-year old Damon Weaver has done.

40 Years Ago Today

The Woodstock festival opens in Bethel, New York

It didn't begin as a grand vision to stage a generation-defining cultural event. It began as a minor item in a business plan to build a professional recording studio in the vicinity of Woodstock, New York. "Press Party," was what the entry near the bottom of the project outline read, and it was just enough to catch the eye of Joel Rosenman, who, along with his business partner John Roberts, was being pitched as a potential investor in the recording studio venture by two aspiring music-biz entrepreneurs named Mike Lang and Artie Kornfeld. Just as Roberts was preparing to say "No, thanks" to the proposal, his partner, Rosenman, posed a fateful question to Kornfeld: "Artie, what's this entry here about a press party?" The discussion that followed would eventually lead the four young men present to become partners in planning, promoting and staging the historic Woodstock Music and Art Fair, which opened its three-day run on this day in 1969.

Quote of the Day

"A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too"."

- George Carlin

Did you get paid $191 for putting on a shirt today?

If not, you're just WASTING YOUR TIME, MAN . . . .

I Wear Your Shirt

Dawgs have the smarts of a toddler with the interests of a teenager

Hey,wait a minute, that sounds a lot like some of the people I went to high school with . . .

Article Here

Teaser:

On average dogs can learn approximately 165 words. The more intelligent dogs can acquire a vocabulary awareness of around 250 words. In math skills, dogs are aware of numerical differences up to five digits and can calculate the difference. The word and math skills are equivalent to that of a child of 2 to 2.5 years of age.

Yet, as far as socialization is concerned, dogs are as intelligent as the average teenager. Coren says their socialization is "complex" and their concerns center around being "interested in who is moving up in the pack and who is sleeping with who and that sort of thing."

What your family room floor looks like when you have 7 house guests . . .

Party Pic #2

64 Yeats Ago Today

Hirohito announces unconditional surrender

On this day in 1945, Emperor Hirohito of Japan announces the news of his country's unconditional surrender in World War II over a radio broadcast to the Japanese people.

After meeting with the Soviet Union in Potsdam, near Berlin, to determine post-war terms for defeated Germany, the governments of the United States and Great Britain (together with China) issued an ultimatum to the Japanese government in late July 1945. It offered a simple choice: surrender unconditionally to the Allies in World War II, or risk total annihilation. In their carefully worded reply, the Japanese failed to capitulate completely, and on August 6, the U.S. B-29 bomber Enola Gay dropped the world's first deployed atomic bomb on the Japanese city of Hiroshima. Three days later, another such bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. The threat of further nuclear attacks drove Japanese officials on August 10 to accept the terms put forth by the Potsdam Declaration and submit their unconditional surrender.

Plane Ticket: $32,000 - Having the entire cabin to yourself, your dawg and your vet: Priceless

And to think, for $100 she could have bought a service dawg vest online - slipped the dawg a zanex and flown at regular fair . . . (not that I would ever do that, of course . . . . actually, I am not even sure what Zanex is . . . )

Story Here

Friends Kim and Rita

Party Pic #1

Okay, so I finally got the house put back together, sat down to look at some party pics and discovered that we only have 42 (seriously) pics on our camera from the big day (half of which are photos of either the flowers Annie received or the awesome mobile aunt Kristy made). Which figures, since we were hosting and all . . . but still . . .

There were about 50 cameras at the event and it seemed like there was a constant clickety-clacking of shutters so if you ended up with some photos of the event, please, please send us copies!

I can see it now - ten years from now when Annabelle asks "Daddy, what is that hand-print painting all about?" I will reply, "Honey, those are the hand prints of everyone who came to your first birthday party."

"Do you have any photos, daddy?"

Loooong pause . . . .

"Annie, let's just sit here and enjoy the painting some more . . ."

Thank you in advance for your photos!

Honda Parts Commercial

I received this in an e-mail the other day with the following text:

If you thought that the people who set up a room full of dominoes to have them knocked over later was amazing, you haven't seen anything yet.

There are no computer graphics or digital tricks in these images. Everything that you see happened in real time exactly as you see it.

The recording required 606 takes and in the first 605 takes there always was something, usually of minor importance, that didn't work. It was necessary for the recording team to install the set-up time after time and it took several weeks working day and night to achieve this effect..

The recording cost 6 million dollars and it took 3 months to finish, including the engineering design of the sequence.

The duration of the video is only 2 minutes, but every time that Honda shows the commercial on British television, they make enough money to support any of us for the rest of our lives. However, this commercial has turned out to be the most displayed in the history of the Internet.

Honda execs think that it will pay for itself simply because of the free showings (Honda is not paying one cent for you to see it)

When Honda senior execs viewed it, they immediately approved it without hesitation-including costs.

There are only six Honda Accords built by hand in the whole world, and to the horror of Honda engineers, the recording team disassembled two of them for the recording.

Everything you see in the sequence (besides the walls, floor, ramp and untouched Honda Accord) is part of those two automobiles. The voice is that of Garrison Keiller. The commercial was so well received by Honda execs when they saw it, that their first comment was how amazing the computer graphics were. They almost fell out of their chairs when told that the recording was real without any graphics manipulation.

By the way, about the wind shield wipers in the new Honda Accords, they are sensitive to water and designed to start working as soon as they get wet.

Thanks Rita!

Music Magic

This is simply amazing.

**Language warning** - he uses the phrase "Go to (H-E-Double Hockey-Sticks)" about a Gabillion times - don't say I didn't warn you



HT: Neatorama

Quote of the Day

a recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his

- Ronald Reagan (1980 campaign)

Quote of the Day

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

- Mother Teresa

Reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated

I am here and the family is fine. It is taking 9 out of every free 10 minutes I have to put the house back together from the big b-day bash this past weekend (I spend the 10th minute catching my breath).

It was a grand affair with about 65 people or so in attendance.

More info and photos to come (in a day or two or three)! (did I mention my home PC is on the fritz again?)

Quote of the Day

He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.

- Seneca

Desert Sunset

A seriously great photo

This Day in History

August 11, 1934

Federal prisoners land on Alcatraz

A group of federal prisoners classified as "most dangerous" arrives at Alcatraz Island, a 22-acre rocky outcrop situated 1.5 miles offshore in San Francisco Bay. The convicts--the first civilian prisoners to be housed in the new high-security penitentiary--joined a few dozen military prisoners left over from the island's days as a U.S. military prison.

August 11, 1984

Reagan jokes about bombing Russia

On this day in 1984, President Ronald Reagan makes a joking but controversial off-the-cuff remark about bombing Russia while testing a microphone before a scheduled radio address. While warming up for the speech, Reagan said "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

Quote of the Day

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.

- William Shakespeare

Quote of the Day

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.

- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

- Abraham Lincoln

The Big ONE

The big day has arrived. The wife and I generally love entertaining but 60+ people is on a whole other level, baby.

A few friends and family members have been staying with us this week and have graciously been helping us spruce the joint.

I am now on the deck staring and the piles of Costco provisions and my yellow legal pad of "to-Do's", realizing that many of the to-do's are becoming . . . oh drat, the wife just came out asking me to download photos from here to there . . .

No time to post - see you at the party!

Unbeliever

I can't believe that the wee one is One Year Old Today!

I can't believe that I don't have a spare minute to sit down and post something appropriate.

Looking back on this past year, I find it hard to believe . . . .

Thank you for all your prayers and support!



Unbelievable . . . .

Quote of the Day

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

- Benjamin Franklin

Differential

I love these old movies - the fact that I am fascinated by the subject is beside the point - the music, terms and presentation are all simply fantastic. As an added bonus, watch all the way to the end to see the first ever "Ghost Ride The Whip" captured on film!



HT: Neatorama

Delight Becomes Pictorial

by Emily Dickinson

Delight becomes pictorial
When viewed through pain,--
More fair, because impossible
That any gain.

The mountaln at a given distance
In amber lies;
Approached, the amber flits a little,--
And that's the skies!

Quote of the Day

The last two weeks have been a bit unfortunate, with the Black Dog prowling and growling in the bushes outside the reach of the campfire light; I just lost enthusiasm for my enthusiasms. I think it’s lifted. The worst thing about Depression isn’t the sense that you’re ac-centuating the negative, it’s that you’re seeing things the way they really are, stripped of the illusions you use every day to divert yourself from the Yawning Maw of Futility. It’s the wind that blows off the snow and reveals the stone.

- Lileks

Patriotism

by Ellie Schoenfeld

My country is this dirt
that gathers under my fingernails
when I am in the garden.
The quiet bacteria and fungi,
all the little insects and bugs
are my compatriots. They are
idealistic, always working together
for the common good.
I kneel on the earth
and pledge my allegiance
to all the dirt of the world,
to all of that soil which grows
flowers and food
for the just and unjust alike.
The soil does not care
what we think about or who we love.
It knows our true substance,
of what we are really made.
I stand my ground on this ground,
this ground which will
ultimately
recruit us all
to its side.

Quote of the Day

"Ofttimes the test of courage becomes rather to live than to die."

- Vittorio Alfieri

Ozymandias

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Good morning boys and girls . . . .

Today, we are going to talk about plagues and the Angel of Death!

10 Plagues of Passover Finger Puppets

Because nothing is quite so cute as a tortured little finger-puppet man covered in BOILS! Aaaaawwwww he's so cuuuute!

65 Years Ago Today

Anne Frank captured

Acting on tip from a Dutch informer, the Nazi Gestapo captures 15-year-old Jewish diarist Anne Frank and her family in a sealed-off area of an Amsterdam warehouse. The Franks had taken shelter there in 1942 out of fear of deportation to a Nazi concentration camp. They occupied the small space with another Jewish family and a single Jewish man, and were aided by Christian friends, who brought them food and supplies. Anne spent much of her time in the "secret annex" working on her diary. The diary survived the war, overlooked by the Gestapo that discovered the hiding place, but Anne and nearly all of the others perished in the Nazi death camps.

Summer Movie #12

Thicker Than Water

Bobby McFerrin: Neuroscientist

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

HT: Neatorama

Quote of the Day

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."

- Will Rogers

Death Sets a Thing Significant

by Emily Dickinson

Death sets a thing significant
The eye had hurried by,
Except a perished creature
Entreat us tenderly

To ponder little workmanships
In crayon or in wool,
With "This was last her fingers did,"
Industrious until

The thimble weighed too heavy,
The stitches stopped themselves,
And then 't was put among the dust
Upon the closet shelves.

A book I have, a friend gave,
Whose pencil, here and there,
Had notched the place that pleased him,--
At rest his fingers are.

Now, when I read, I read not,
For interrupting tears
Obliterate the etchings
Too costly for repairs.