When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes

Sonnet 29
By William Shakespeare

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.

Wall-E

Last night, after a long-hard weekend, thew work crew gathered around for some lasagna and conversation out at the picnic table in the yard. the conversation turned to Pixar and animated movies and it stuck me funny that we had 8-9 adults gathered around discussing animated movies.

Then I read this today . . . .

Pretty sure I will be borrowing that one from the first friend who buys it . . .

Gotta See This

Nick Vujicic is a motivational speaker who travels the world with his message of hope. He also was born without arms or legs. Check it out. (I especially like the photo of his friends goofing around and suffing him in the airplane's overhead compartment - disability with a sense of humor - it's a good thing).

And speaking of disability with a sense of humor - I also loved this post from wheelchairjunkie. Hilarious.

Looking Back From the Future

I appreciated this post.

As challenging as things are in the Linden household right now, we also have friends and family that are going through their own trials and tribulations. And I don't mean your typical "hard day" I mean knee-quaking, white-knuckling hard times.

What a year.

"Every thing's great in 2008!"

Lately, I have been joking with friends, "We will settle for "fine" in 2009!"

A scene from the tail end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy keeps replaying in my mind;

After a year of travels and trials and adventures, wars, destruction and death, fighting the force of darkness on the slopes of mount doom which threatens to mutilate and destroy all life as it is known . . . etc., four hobbits sit at a table in their favorite pub - each with an untouched mug of beer in front of them.

It's over. They survived. They are back.

The pub is loud and boisterous and full of raucous laughter and merry-making but the four sit in silence. They aren't happy - they aren't sad - they are just. back. A little older, a little wiser and a little taller if you read the books. They sit there knowing that the next time evil strikes, they can face it down because evil has thrown everything it had at them and it's over. They survived. They are back.

All at once, they slowly reach for their beers and look each other in the eye as they first raise and then bang their mugs together in a silent toast - knowing smiles spreading across their faces.

May we all be so lucky come January 1st . . . .

Quote of the Day

"If I can survive war, layoffs, disappointments, and all the misfortunes life brings, I can go out for a run."

DOUG WIDOWSKI

Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer's Day?

by William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

How to tell the Difference between Target and Church

I received this in an e-mail (Lauren is 4):

Lauren's observation during church last Sunday:

"There are crosses over everything so that you know it's church . . . just like Target"

( . . .the Target logo, that is. Not too many crosses at Target.)

That's to keep you from searching the narthex for the housewares department . . .

Happy Birthday John!

Happy Birthday Steve!

Dezi

Approx March, 1991 - June 24, 2008

The wife and I were married on August 22nd, 1992 - about three weeks later I went to the humane society and brought home a skinny black cat who we named "Dezi". Dezi has been with us almost as long as we have been with each other.

She, of course, had all the usual cat-like interests but in addition, she loved to sit with her front arms outstretched, love to laze in the sun

and was a true lap-cat. In fact, if you have ever been to our house, you have probably been blessed (or burdened) with her weaseling her way into your lap for a good stroke-session.

Dezi slept with us every night. She would usually start out sleeping between my ankles, then migrate to sleeping on one of the wife's hips when she was on her side. Occasionally Dezi would sleep in the middle of my chest or (my personal favorite) right in the small of my back. It was like having your own heating pad!

In recent weeks and months, Dezi had been diagnosed with a weak heart, kidney failure and gum disease (which could not been treated because of the weak heart) along with a handful of mystery ailments such as why she was pulling her hair out in clumps. All of which amounted to "You have an old cat".

Dezi passed away yesterday afternoon.

After collecting ourselves, we said our goodbyes and buried her in the corner of the yard next to best buddy, Sam, whom we had buried 2 years before.

Our neighbor-lady was in her yard watering and when she saw us filling in the hole in the yard, she new immediately and an involuntary "Oh, No!" sprang from her lips - she left us to our moment.

We spent the evening on the deck reminiscing about our long-time fur-friend and marvelling at how different life will be without her.

This morning, as I lay in bed in the darkness contemplating getting up, I pushed my ankles together searching for that familiar warm lump in the bed and there was nothing there.

Dezi, you were a good cat, a good friend and a good companion. You will be missed.

Nana-korohi, ya-oki

(Fall down seven times, get up eight times)

- Japanese Saying

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

So - here we are.

I had to take a break from the blogging in part due to busyness and in part because I didn't have many constructive things to say and if I want to scream into the wind, I suppose that is best done outside . . .

We got some tough news last week which really set us on our heels (again).

Then the wife headed out of town for a family reunion centered around celebrating her Grandma Lucille's 90th birthday.

I didn't attend in part due to other obligations but mostly because one plan ticket was about all we could muster. The highlight of the weekend was when the family had gathered to speachify their appreciation to Grandma. When it came Holly's turn, she handed grandma the phone so that I could wish her well and let her know that we had named our daughter after her:

Annabelle Lucille Linden

After I hung up, the wife made the announcement to the family gathering and I am told there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

It was good for the wife to get away this weekend - to be surrounded by family and fun and frivolity. She seems to have come home somewhat refreshed.

In addition to the tough medical news last week, I also found out that the parent company I work for has decided to combine all three of their Title brands in San Diego County.

This is very common in our industry right now as the market continues to shrink and it makes perfect sense from the corporate standpoint. The tough part is that when these sorts of things happen, layoffs are inevitable (especially amongst the management of which we now had three duplicate sets of).

The upper management at the brand that I worked for has been mostly let go. Naturally, these are people that we all cared about and so it is hard even though we need to have faith that it is all for the best in terms of future profitability.

The really tough part is that my direct manager has been very supportive of our situation with Annie Lucille and not a visit went by without her inquiring as to the latest news. When the merger was announced, I e-mailed her to let her know that while I hoped my numbers were strong enough to insure my position, that the most important thing to me was to be able to maintain my insurance with the company.

I even went so far as to say I would rather be a janitor than be laid off as a loss of our insurance coverage could very well be a life or death proposition. She guaranteed me she would do everything she could to make sure that didn't happen.

She was let go later that same day.

Sooooo, now we have all new management. I have no doubt that they are talented and wonderful and that the move is a good one for our company . . . . but still . . . . they don't know me . . . I certainly can't expect them to be aware of my story or situation . . . . there is a certain amount of stress involved there . . .

Headed into this past weekend with all this on my mind and the wife out of town, I thought it best that I not be alone so some buddies of mine agreed to take turns spending the night so as to avoid a reprise of this . . .

Nevertheless, Saturday morning (in between buddy-shifts) I found myself weeping in the garden - I had no idea how long I had been there. Then I woke up on a towel under the pine tree in our back yard - again no idea how long I had been there.

Naturally, when I heaved myself to my feet and went inside, the house was once again a-buzz with tireless helping hands sanding floors, putting up drywall etc. It was a hard weekend for me but I can feel the darkness lifting once again . . .

I think another thing adding to all the stress is the process of the home make over.

DON'T GET ME WRONG the whole thing is amazing and wonderful and unimaginably generous and we love it and are so thankful and can't believe it . . . .

At the same time, if you have ever lived in a house that is going through a remodel - you know what it's like to live in a house where everything is covered in sawdust, concrete dust and a general layer of over-all construction funk. You know what it is like to get dressed in the living room every morning because that's where all your clothes are (on top of the guest bed sandwiched between the wall and the sofa). And as you get dressed, you know what it is like to have to shake the dust out your clothes one piece at a time, sending billows into the air that settle on the couch, the coffee table etc . . .

The good news is, the house is really coming along, looking great and . . . dare I say it? . . . we may be heading into the home stretch . . . .

So there it all is, some tough medical news, some tough employment news bringing on insurance and financial concerns, a hard weekend and dust, dust and more dust . . .

Did I mention that the weather was in the triple digits this past weekend? . . .

Okay, okay, enough.

The whole reason I went into all this is to ask, once again, for your prayers . . .

- Pray for healing for Annie Lu
- Pray for rest for Holly
- Pray for job and financial and insurance security
- Pray for strength and patience and encouragement for our whole family
- Pray for strength and patience and encouragement for all those who continue to sacrifice so much by showing up weekend after weekend all for a little girl they haven't met yet . . .

Your prayers mean so much . . .

Sonnet 2 - When forty winters shall besiege thy brow

by William Shakespeare

When forty winters shall besiege thy brow,
And dig deep trenches in thy beauty's field,
Thy youth's proud livery so gazed on now,
Will be a tattered weed of small worth held.
Then being asked, where all thy beauty lies,
Where all the treasure of thy lusty days,
To say within thine own deep sunken eyes,
Were an all-eating shame, and thriftless praise.
How much more praise deserved thy beauty's use,
If thou couldst answer, "This fair child of mine
Shall sum my count, and make my old excuse,"
Proving his beauty by succession thine.
This were to be new made when thou art old,
And see thy blood warm when thou feel'st it cold.

Baby Tips

From AmericanBaby.com:

Someone suggested that I buy several crib sheets and two crib mattress-protector sheets when my first child was born. I put both on the crib mattress, so when the baby spits up or a diaper leaks at 2am, I just take off the top layer of sheets. That way, i don't have to worry about making a whole bed in the middle of the night.

Proverbs 31

A while back, a friend of mine forwarded a dveotion from the Proverbs 31 website.

It is a devotional site specifically geared towards women but I signed up anyway.

Here is an excerpt from today's devotion:

Finally, the picture of a baby is to remind you that He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He knows you better than your parents, your spouse, your children or your friends. He knows the parts you don’t show anyone else. He sees the tears no one else sees. He hears the dreams and frustrations no one else hears. He knows you, inside and out. (Psalm 139:13)

The Bible assures us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. I once read that the word “wonderfully” in the Hebrew is “palah,” which means “to distinguish, or to be set apart.” God created each one of us to be unique and distinct in some way. We each have a special destiny only we can fulfill. In a world of comparisons and keeping up with impossible standards, it is so easy to forget that our uniqueness is His gift to us. Too often we see it as a curse.

You may want to check out the whole thing . . .

Annabelle

From What to Expect:

As far as growth goes, your baby's still on a roll, measuring an impressive 18 inches and weighing in at more than three pounds. You can still expect your baby to gain at least three to five pounds, possibly more, before you two meet.

Your baby's brain is working overtime these days, developing faster than ever. Connections between individual nerve cells are growing at a frenetic clip, and your baby can now perceive information from all five senses. Sure, your baby can't smell anything right now, but that's only because he or she is still submerged in amniotic fluid and needs to be breathing air to get a whiff of anything. Lucky for you — and your baby — yours will be one of the very first scents your baby breathes in, a scent that will quickly become his or her very favorite.

So what's your little dove doing all day while you're busy feathering your nest for his or her arrival? Making faces, hiccupping, swallowing, breathing, pedaling with little hands and feet along your uterine wall, and even sucking his or her thumb. In fact, some babies suck their thumbs so vigorously while in the womb that they're born with a callus on their thumb (what a little sucker!).

What does it mean . . .

What does it mean when you consider this father "lucky"?

Oh God . . . . carry us through this . .. . .

Quote of the Day

From 300:

Persian Emmissary: "A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you - our arrows will blot out the sun."

Dienekes: "Then we will fight in the shade"

Miracles

I have read about "Team Hoyt" before and it is a truly inspirational story - I imagine you can Google them for info. They have become a fixture at the Boston Marathon each year.

A friend of mine sent me this e-mail this morning

This is worth reading and watching the video.

Make sure you have the volume on. Read and then watch the video.

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?'

The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together.

One day, the son asked his father,'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'Yes'.

For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer)ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180 .2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together.(The son works at B.U. in the technology department.)

PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO IT PUTS A WHOLE NEW VIEW ON THIS STORY!! It isn't very long!!



It's what Dads do . . .

Perspective

I have nothing against Golf (those who have seen me play might disagree) but I found this satirical news article from The Onion "reporting" on Tiger Woods' latest win pretty funny this morning.

Just in case you need a chuckle this morning . . .

Re-posted

"It's at the borders of pain and suffering that the men are separated from the boys."

Emil Zatopek

"I think some of the most celebrated moments in human achievement should be those times when everything is going against a person and they are down in the dumps but they simply choose to get up. That's real greatness!"

Ryan Hall

"What counts in battle is what you do once the pain sets in."

John Short, South African Coach

" The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

- Deuteronomy 31:8

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go."

- Joshua 1:9

Oh God

My wife and my daughter . . . they are both hurting . . .

They are my girls . . . .

And all I can do is pray . . .

Please pray . . . .

Reprise

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Reprise

There was a weakling man
Who dreamed he was strong as a hurricane
A ship in a bottle set sail
He took a deep breath and blew across the world
He watched everything crumble
Woke up a weakling again

Fix You

=Re-posted=

by Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Little Potato

by Metamora

You're my little potato, you're my little potato,
You're my little potato, they dug you up,
You come from underground!

The world is big, so big, so very big!
To you, it's new, it's new to you!

You're my little potato, you're my little potato,
You're my little potato, they dug you up,
You come from underground!

Let's talk about root crops (they dug you up),
And lamb chops (they chew on you),
And things to eat...like apples
and cheese and 'nanas and cream,
Jellies and butter,
it's late at night, I hope this little bottle helps you go to sleep!

They must have grown you wild,
you make a grown man a child,
I’ll go and play in the mud
to be with you my spud (potato).
When you came out looking red as a beet,
You had wrinkles on the bottoms of your feet!

Oh, you are so sweet potato!
You're my sweet potato,
you're my sweet potato, dug you up!
You come from underground!

You smile, a smile, a little smile!
The world is small, so small, it's very small!

You're my little potato, you're my little potato,
you're my little potato, they dug you up,
You come from underground!

You're my little potato, you're my little potato,
you're my little potato!

Daughter

by Loudon Wainwright III

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.

That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.

That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her.
I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.

That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?

That's my daughter in the water,
I lost everytime I fought her
Yea, I lost every time.

Baby

by Dave Matthews

Baby, it's alright
Stop your crying
Now

Nothing is here to stay
Everything has to begin and end
A ship in a bottle won't sail
All we can do is dream that the wind will blow us across the water
A ship in a bottle set sail

Baby, it's alright
Stop your crying, now

There was a weakling man
Who dreamed he was strong as a hurricane
A ship in a bottle set sail
He took a deep breath and blew across the world
He watched everything crumble
Woke up a weakling again

Some might tell you there's no hope in hand
Just because they feel hopeless
But you don't have to be a thing like that
You be a ship in a bottle set sail

Baby, it's alright
Stop your crying, now
It's alright
So stop your crying, now
Be a ship in a bottle set sail

Medical Update - 6/17/08

Today at 11am is our first meeting with the neuro-surgeon. This is the guy that will be in charge of Annabelle's care directly after the C-section.

We have a list of questions that we have been compiling and we are eager to meet with him to get more info.

Updates to follow . . .

UPDATE:

The other day, we received a copy of a letter from our perinatologist to the neurosurgeon (NS). The purpose of the letter was to give the NS a basic rundown of findings to date. In part, it listed initial findings of:

- Large thoracic level neural tube defect
- Abnormal intracranial anatomy, including lateral ventricles, cerebellum, choroid plexus and cisterna magna - positive lemon sign, positive banana sign, bilateral mild ventricular dilatation [1.2 cm] and bilateral clubbed feet

It then listed confirmed findings of:

- Neural tube defect (from approximately T5 / T6 to sacrum)
- Ventriculomegaly - 2.34 cm
- Bilateral clubbed feet

Then MRI findings of:

- Spinal dysraphism in mid to lower thoracic spine and extending to the sacrum
- Subtle caudal regression cannot be excluded
- Severe focal kyphotic deformity of the upper to mid lumbar spine
- A Chiari II change with hydrocephalus
- Distention of fetal urinary bladder and probable bilateral clubbed feet

Much of the terms and findings I was familiar with from my recent reading. The terms I was unfamiliar with, I Googled. The news was not good.

After doing a certain amount of research, I had to just stop myself and admit that 1) I am not a doctor so I only have a limited comprehension of what I am reading and 2) I need to just get some facts from the neurosurgeon.

The neurosurgeon came highly recommended from a number of sources and we were glad that he had agreed to see us "sooner rather than later".

He was kind, compassionate and professional. In fact, he has tended to just about every infant born with Spina Bifida in San Diego County for the last decade.

The short version is, he had only seen one case comparable in severity to Annabelle's - and the child only lived 4 hours outside the womb.

It became clear to me that the reason he was seeing us "sooner" was to again give us the opportunity to terminate the pregnancy. Although that has never been an option for us, I totally understand the doctor laying out all our options in light of this new information and it did not bother me one bit to cover that ground again.

When we made it clear that was not in the plan for us, he was very supportive and agreed to make himself available to us and to help us navigate this situation.

It's bad news - no way around that.

I have a great many thoughts and feelings about it all but I think it's all better left unsaid until after a nights "sleep" lest I start posting things that I, upon reflection, don't really think, feel or believe.

Please pray.

Our Annie needs a miracle - Keep the faith, baby - please don't give up on praying for us.

More to follow . . . .

Baby Tips

Tips from friends with children:

"Seriously though, enjoy the ride, and if there is any place you wish to visit, now is the time but go cheap, babies are expensive."

- A friend and a Father

Weekend Adventures

We didn't take as many photos as I had hoped (we must have all stayed busy!) but here a couple:

Progress update is here.

Happy Belated B-day Massimo!

Annabelle

From What to Expect:

Your baby's height and weight haven't changed much in the past week, but the big news is your baby's brain gain. Until now, the surface of your baby's brain was smooth. Now, your fetus's brain is taking on those characteristic grooves and indentations. The reason for this change in appearance? Those wrinkles allow for an increased amount of brain tissue — a necessary change as your baby prepares for life outside your womb, and the street smarts he or she will need.

Another big change this week: Your baby's bone marrow has taken over production of red blood cells (before, tissue groups and then the spleen took care of producing the blood cells). This is an important step for your baby, because it means he or she is better able to thrive on his or her own once born (with a little TLC from you, of course).

So it's in with the new (brain cells, red blood cells) and out with the old (lanugo). Much of the lanugo — the soft, downy hair covering your baby's body — is beginning to disappear now because both fat and the brain are regulating your baby's body temperature (so no need for that furry coat anymore). But you may see a few leftover strands of fur on your newborn's back and shoulders.

Quote of the Day

What is it about running that scares people so much? Why do people feel they have to put friendly modifiers next to running so that everyone can feel good about it? Well, here's the ugly truth; everyone shouldn't feel good about running. It's hard. It hurts. Running requires sacrifice and heart and guts. Any attempt to water it down with feel good adjectives is a slap in the face to those of us who still hold running sacred. In fact, if you're running easy, odds are you not running at all. You're jogging. So do us a favor, don't run easy. Run hard. Run like an animal.

- Pearl Inzumi ad

My Love Is Like To Ice

By Edmund Spenser - 1552-1599

My love is like to ice, and I to fire:
How comes it then that this her cold so great
Is not dissolved through my so hot desire,
But harder grows the more I her entreat?
Or how comes it that my exceeding heat
Is not allayed by her heart-frozen cold,
But that I burn much more in boiling sweat,
And feel my flames augmented manifold?
What more miraculous thing may be told,
That fire, which all things melts, should harden ice,
And ice, which is congeal's with senseless cold,
Should kindle fire by wonderful device?
Such is the power of love in gentle mind,
That it can alter all the course of kind.

Baby Tips

Tips from friends with children:

"GET A PUMP, you don't want to be left unarmed"

- a friend and a father

Happy Belated B-day Ryan!

Happy Belated B-day Diane!

Happy Belated B-day Kevin!

Happy Belated B-day Wendy!

Happy Belated B-day Dain!

Happy Belated B-day Sean!

Political Cheap Trick

I heard this political primary compilation on NPR the other day (set to Cheap Trick's "I want you to want me").

It made me chuckle.

Quote of the Day

"It's at the borders of pain and suffering that the men are separated from the boys."

Emil Zatopek

Oldest Church

This looks interesting.

Teaser Graphs from the Telegraph:

"We have uncovered what we believe to be the first church in the world, dating from 33 AD to 70 AD," Abdul Qader al-Husan, head of Jordan's Rihab Centre for Archaeological Studies, said. . .

Inside the cave there are several stone seats which are believed to have been for the clergy and a circular shaped area, thought to be the apse.

There is also a deep tunnel which is believed to have led to a water source, the archaeologist added.

I am the Master of My Irrigational Domain! (also entitled "Myself")

Now that just about the entire modern world has transferred from VHS to DVD, have you ever wondered what became of those sociatial miscreants who devised the VHS clock mechanisms? You know, the ones you have to thank for 6 1/2 years of staring at a VCR that blinked "12:00" - "12:00" - "12:00" because the darn thing was too hard to program?

Well I have located them. They are now designing THESE:

Great googly-moogly.

While staying at a friend's house a couple of weeks ago, he off-handidly asked me to run the sprinklers while he was gone as a power outage had scrambled the sprinkler timer.

I went out back, opened the timer box and stared in confusion. I had never actually seen a sprinkler timer before and I could not figure out how to turn the water on. I searched in vain for what had to be the obvious fail-safe - the iron rod that you jam on the metal thingy in the grass and give a twist - alas, the system was fully digitized.

I cracked open the instruction manual and spent the next 45 minutes trying to figure out how to TURN ON THE WATER.

When the crew told me they were going to put all my sprinklers on a timer I was both excited and apprehensive. Imagine my relief when this guy let me know last Thursday, before he hopped a plane home to Seattle, that he had programmed my sprinklers for me to come on at 6am.

I got up the next morning at 5:30, poured a cup of coffee, and waited in the front yard. The whole system worked without a hitch! First the front yard powered up, then the planter boxes, then the back yard. It was a marvel! I got up the next morning to watch the show again for good measure.

Nothing.

The system - she was kaput. I figured "It's no wonder. These things are so hard to figure out, I bet my friend thought he had it programmed to water daily but had actually only set it up to water the one time . . ." I headed to the timer with the instruction book in hand and pressed "reset".

I could not figure out how to set the clock.

After 30 min or so I gave up and have been getting up at 5am every morning since then to water the yard. Yesterday afternoon, after 7 days of hand watering, I decided to give it another try.

I pulled out the instruction manual and the heavens opened and a choir of angels descended singing "Glory to God in the highest!" I had figured out how to set the clock! It was like finding the Rosetta Stone.

I imagined myself being introduced at a cocktail party, "This is so-and-so, she is a brain surgeon. This is so-and-so, he is studying quantum-physics. And THIS is Matt, he knows how to program his own sprinkler timer!"

"Ooooooohhhh", the crowd exhales as they all lean in to get a closer look . . .

After figuring out how to set the clock, it was fairly straight-forward.

I decided on program "B" which would only water the yard every-other day and started clicking through the settings. . . "What's this? Someone has already set up my yard to water every-other day?"

It was as if Neil Armstrong were to set foot on the moon only to discover "Ziggy was here" scrawled in the moon dust . . .

Then it hit me.

The reason the sprinklers didn't come on the second day was because they were programmed to come on every other day. If only I hadn't monkeyed with the whole thing I could have avoided a week's worth of early-morning hand watering. I scrolled through all the settings just in case and locked up the box.

A few years ago, friends came down with their 3-year-old son. As the father hoisted the son out of his car seat, the child began repeating "myself - myself - myself" over and over. When his father set him down on the pavement, the little boy wailed "Myyyyyseeeeeelllllllf" and dramatically flung himself down.

The father growled, "Allright!" and heaved the boy back into his car seat whereupon the boy happily scrambled down to the pavement on his own. I looked at the father and he shrugged, "He wants to do things himself."

This morning I grabbed my cup of coffee and headed to the yard in anticipation. Sure enough, the sprinklers sprang to life right on cue (just as they would have been doing all along).

Sure, they were programmed correctly the first time. But I figured it out - I cracked the code - I programmed the confounded sprinkler timer.

And I did it myself.

Cromwell: Your Personal 3-year old, 308 lb. Security System

It's good to have a big dawg . . .

Teaser Graph From Daily Mail Online:

Of all the gardens in all the world, the thief had the bad luck to break into the one where Cromwell was peacefully gnawing on his bone.

The three-year-old English mastiff is a gentle pet. But his breed are also born guard dogs - and big ones at that.

Only the thief and Cromwell know exactly what happened next. . . .

Board Games vs Video Games

From Dad Labs:

Checking In

I apologize that the posting has been so lite lately. My mornings and evenings have been filled with recovering from the past work week and preparing the house of the next four finish-up-work weekends.

I did get the yard organized and some plants re-potted and I got three more coats of sealant down on the nursery, hallway and living room floors so progress is continuing!

It takes me all morning before work to hand water the front yard and the same for the back yard so I am alternating every other day.

Since I still don't have a computer at home I have to post from the office but business has been blessedly busy this past week and so the only way I can do any posting is to stay late or come in early which cuts into the house-work time - you get the picture.

I leave you with THIS - probably the best thing you will see all week!

Annabelle

From What to Expect:

Your baby is almost 17 inches tall now (nearly as tall as he or she will be at birth), and close to three pounds (a weight that will likely more than double — and may even come close to tripling — by delivery time). His or her wrinkled skin is smoothing out as more fat is deposited under the skin surface. This fat, called white fat, is different from the earlier brown fat that your baby accumulated. Brown fat is necessary for body temperature regulation while white fat (the fat you have, Mom) actually serves as an energy source.

Which explains why your energizer baby feels so…well…energized! Space in your baby's living quarters is now at a premium, so you'll be feeling jabs and pokes from elbows and knees mostly. But those kicks will be more vigorous than before (and also less erratic) because your baby is stronger and excitedly responding to all sorts of stimuli — movement, sounds, light, and that candy bar you ate half an hour ago.

Luckily, your baby doesn't have teeth yet that would need a brushing after that sugary treat, but it won't be long before you'll need to buy that first baby toothbrush! You'll recall that your baby's baby-teeth buds formed weeks ago, but now the buds for permanent teeth are forming in his or her gums as well.

And back to those kicks, who's counting? Actually, you should be. Now's a good time to start doing a kick count twice a day to make sure baby's doing just fine (plus, it's a good excuse for a rest). Lie down (preferably after a snack) and keep track of your baby's movements. You're looking for at least ten movements in an hour's time (don't forget to count movements of any kind — kicks, flutters, swishes, rolls, and so on).

MRI Update - 6/5/8

The wife just called.

She said the Doctor wants her to come in right away to discuss the results in person.

I am leaving the office right now to meet her there.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Updates to follow . . . .

UPDATE:

Just got back from the doctor's. The MRI came back indicating that the cysts appear to be benign and can be dealt with during the C-section so that is good news.

The reason the doctor wanted us to come in was because of an MRI finding pointing to a severe curvature of the spine (scoliosis) and the doc wanted to take a look right away.

We did an ultrasound but the doc did not see a curvature and so he is disagreeing with the interpretation of the MRI. This is also good news.

We were able to get a better look at the spine today and unfortunately, the doc said he is pretty sure the opening begins at T5 which is higher up than the T7 or T8 that he had originally thought.

We are scheduling an appointment with the neurosurgeon in about two weeks to go over some of the more technical aspects of the birth and treatment options so we are looking forward to that.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Just Had to Share . . .

From an e-mail I received today . . .

I received this email today from someone I don't know...but I'm assuming that she attends the same bible study I do since she knew how to contact me. Anyway, it's just one more example of how the story of "Annabelle's Circle"is reaching SO many people. Awesome stuff!!

- Wendy
----------------------------------------------

Hi Susan, Thank you so much for your email. My family and I had the joy of being one of the many families that participated in the week long event. It was amazing to be a part of something so wonderful. I could write about it for pages.

If you want, you can read more about it at www.annabellescircle.com. If you go to the website for Annabelle and the Linden family, I encourage you to click on the links for "Mommy dreams of circles" & "Annabelle's prayer quilt". There is a beautiful testimony about the prayer quilt and God's hand upon their family.

- Warmly, Wendy

--------------------------------------
An article in todays's Union-Tribune caught my eye and I hope you've seen it. It tells about friends doing a major fix-up job on the house of Matt and Holly Linden (you probably know all about it anyway) and explains about their expected baby, Annabelle, for whom you requested the prayer quilt.

I recall the sincere and accepting prayer they requested. God is surely working for them in many ways! The article is on page 2 of "Our San Diego" section.

- My regards, Susie

Quote of the Day

"I think some of the most celebrated moments in human achievement should be those times when everything is going against a person and they are down in the dumps but they simply choose to get up. That's real greatness!"

Ryan Hall

Super Grilled Salmon

"This is a grilled salmon made with full bodied wine (Shiraz is best). It needs to marinate overnight for best flavor."

Recipe Here

Had to Share

A friend forwarded me this devotion regarding "Deep Grief".

I have never heard of this website / ministry before but I think I will check it out more when I have time . . . .

Well What Do You Know . . .

From today's Union Tribune:

LEMON GROVE – As far as house makeovers go, this one was extreme, quick and free. The scale of the work stunned the homeowners, who have experienced tough times lately.

That's pretty much where the similarities end, however, between the popular TV show “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” and the work done on the Lemon Grove home owned by Matt and Holly Linden.

For those who may be checking out our story for the first time, I thought I would provide a few helpful links:

Her Name is Annabelle

Feeling Bad about Feeling Better

Oh God

Miracles to Claim

medical Update 4/9

Itchin for a Fight

Miracles to Consider

Miracles to Covet

Black Tuesday

In The Garden

Medical Update 4/29

The Work Week Begins.

Anticipation.

Coming Home Again.

Current Prayer Requests

Those are some of the highlights but of course there is much more - such as the prayers and artwork from children - Holly's dream of circles which lead to Annabelle's Circle and the prayer quilt - the many miracles in others lives that have been related to us throughout this process.

Please Pray.

Asking others to pray us through this was and remains the main reason for sharing our story.

Our dear little Annie needs a miracle - you can be part of it.

Please Pray.

Quote of the Day

"What counts in battle is what you do once the pain sets in."

John Short, South African Coach

Rosemary Ranch Chicken Kabobs

"This rosemary ranch chicken recipe is so delicious, tender, and juicy the chicken will melt in your mouth. Even the most picky eater will be begging for the last piece."

Recipe Here

This Brutally Beautiful Life

What do I think of the house? Wonderful! Beautiful! Fantastic!

The crew literally attacked the house from every angle all at once and I imagine that more than once throughout the week someone stopped and muttered "This is why they knock the house down and start over on that TV show . . .".

More progress and improvements were made in 10 days than the wife and I have been able to muster in the 3 years we have owned the place.

When we took the blindfolds off on Sunday afternoon were bowled over. Let the photos speak for themselves (click to enlarge) . . .

Front of the house just before we bought it . . .

Front of the house now . . .

Before we bought it . . .

Now . . .

Before . . . . Now . . .

About 1 year after we moved in . . .

Now . . .

Before we bought . . .

Now . . .

All that is to say nothing of the beautiful new kitchen counters, the wrought-iron gazebo and trellis in the back yard as well as the freshly-painted nursery. Its just that all those spaces are currently littered with boxes and supplies and debris from 10 days of construction work done by 50+ people so the photos do not adequately convey the beauty of the improvements yet.

.

And the family room which was the catalyst for this whole extravabonanza?

Just after we moved in . . .

Now . . . .

Well . . . There was only so much time and so much money . . .

Still, the insulation is in and the room is 2/3 drywalled (the hardest 2/3)

The driveway?

Now . . .

Okay, so the new sprinklers don't exactly "work" and the timer is still in the box . . .

Just about all sides of the house still need some stucco work

The mail box is sitting on the front step and the door doesn't yet have a door knob (just a dead bolt) . . .

The new deck doesn't have any stairs so you have to climb a ladder up and down and the family room is . . . well . . . you know . . . .

The washer and dryer are in the driveway and the sewer backed up this morning . . .

But still - a vast improvement.

If needed house repairs were drops of water, we were adrift in the middle of the pacific with no wind, no gas and rapidly running out of food and water . . .

Now we are in the middle of a lake - a large lake - but at least we can see the shore and the wind is at our backs.

Adequate words escape me once again.

I was trying to think of how I could possibly repay all those who gave and came and worked and I think I have the solution - visit. Our home is your home - come for lunch, for dinner, stay until breakfast - you will always have a second home in Lemon Grove (Best Climate on Earth!)

.

There is a baby shower coming up in about 5 weeks and you all are invited. Don't bring a gift - just come and bask in midst of your sacrifice. If someone asks, "What gift did you get them?" just grab a beer and say "Hope".

.

I think this picture pretty much says it all . . .

.

Some of the gals set out to refinish the wood floors. After hours of sanding, they got down on hands and knees to wipe the floor clean in preparation for staining - and then stopped for lunch . . .

.

Somewhere along the line, one of them got something on her hands which was invisible on the newly sanded floor but was revealed in sharp relief once the stain was applied. The hand prints are forever sealed into the floor right in front of the fireplace.

.

Sure, I could sand it down again and re-stain and no one would ever know it was there.

.

I think I will leave it. It is the hand print of a friend - a visible reminder of all that was given.

.

Years from now when an unknowing guest walks in and asks, "What's with the hand print on the floor?" I will smile, and say "Sit down, you won't believe this story . . . ."

.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the center of Holly's "Annabelly".

.

Please keep praying - 12 weeks to go - our little Annabelle needs a miracle . . .

Quote of the Day

"It is horrible, yet fascinating, this struggle between a set purpose and an utterly exhausted frame."

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Mexican Style Shredded Pork

"This is an amazing shredded pork recipe similar to what you would eat in a rice bowl (or in an enchilada) at a Mexican restaurant. It is easy to prepare and simmers in a slow cooker all day, ready to enjoy when you arrive home. I serve it over rice (laced with lime juice and fresh cilantro), Cheddar cheese, salsa, guacamole, and a dollop of sour cream. Amazing!"

Recipe Here

Annabelle

From What to Expect:

Are you dreaming about your baby? Your baby may be dreaming about you, too. Brain wave activity measured in a developing fetus shows different sleep cycles, including the rapid eye movement phase, the stage when dreaming occurs.

By now, your baby, who weighs in at about two and a half pounds and stands — or rather lies — at almost 16 inches (measured head to toe) has added blinking to his or her growing bag of tricks. (Outside in the real world, blinking is necessary to help keep foreign objects out of the eyes.) Other impressive new talents being added to your baby's roster include coughing, more intense sucking, and, perhaps most important, better breathing.

The good news is that babies born this week, though premature, have an excellent prognosis because their lungs have reached the point (for the most part) of maturity — so you too can breathe a little easier now. Of course, it's still best if a baby doesn't check out of that uterine hotel just yet — there's still a lot of growing and maturing to do over the next 12 weeks.

MRI Update

If you didn't have an MRI today, smile! You have had a great day!

The short version:

Holly had an MRI last night to take a look at a suspicious cyst among other things.

We will not get the results for two or three days and we will keep everyone updated when we do.

The long version:

How to you spell "MRI"? T.H.I.S.B.L.O.W.S.

Seriously.

All day yesterday the wife kept saying, "I don't want to have an MRI".

We headed to the medical complex yesterday evening and followed the big "MRI" signs they had posted along the way only to discover that we went to the wrong MRI complex. We got back in the car and drove around to the other side of the hospital.

As the wife was filling out the usual paperwork, I read through the brochure and noted that they offered anesthesia to children having an MRI. Anesthesia? That's weird. I guess it makes sense - you have to stay very still in the contraption and staying very still is not a skill most children have mastered.

I didn't know the half of it.

Standing on this side of the experience I now realize that they have to dope up the kids because any sane child would run screaming holy-hell-effin-mier murder once the tubo-de-muerte fires up. But we will come back to that . . .

As the nurse led us down the hall she quizzed us about every possible piece of metal we might have on ourselves. It all had to come off and go in a locker.

The room housing the MRI was expectedly sterile. The wife laid on the sliding bed and began to slowly unravel. She has a touch of claustrophobia and the idea of spending 30-45 minutes in something about the size of (and forgive me for saying it but there is just no more apt description) a coffin is not her cup of tea.

The technician offered her headphones and tuned in her favorite radio station for her to listen to throughout the process then the tech turned to me and offered me headphones to protect my ears. Protect my ears?

"When this thing starts, it is going to sound like a jackhammer running wild" said the tech. He wasn't kidding. The tech slid Holly into the tube and allowed me to stand at the opening holding onto her feet for comfort. The tech left the room and the fun began.

Seriously. Obscenely. Loud.

Imagine someone jackhammering on one side of you while a person on the other side occasionally let's loose with one of those irritating air horns that people bring to sporting events.

POWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOW - SCREEEEECH! - POWPOWPOWPOWPOWPOW - SCREECH! SCREEEECH! SCREEECH!

Every minute or so the voice of the tech would come through a loud speaker, "Now take a deep breath and hold it . . . . . . " POWPOWPOWPOWPOW - SCREEECH! "Okay, now breathe normally . . . "

I kept rubbing the wife's feet and occasionally I would look into the tube to make sure she was okay.

When it got really loud, I would pull one side of my headset off to get an idea of what she was going through (I would have just kept them off but I figured the tech would scold me). When the tech told her to hold her breath, I held mine as well.

"How on earth is she handling this?" I thought to myself . . . .

The good news is the projected 30-45 min only lasted 20 min and they pulled the wife out. She gave me a "seriously, nobody better mess with me the rest of the day" look. She was trashed.

As the wife was getting her things together I turned to the tech and said, "Why on earth is that thing so loud? Surely there must be a way to make these things more quiet."

The tech shrugged, "This one is a newer model - the other ones are louder."

Good grief. Unfortunately, this is probably not the last MRI experience for us but at least we know what to expect.

As we headed to the car, the wife said that the whole time during the MRI little Annabelle was squirreling around. At this stage she can hear and I can only imagine how disturbing the whole thing was to her - good thing she won't remember it . . . .

As we got in the car the wife turned and said, "I want a strawberry shake". "You got it", I replied.

Updates to follow . . . .

From The Mouths of Children

Our friends Corey and Jordan wrote about the past work week.

If this and this don't grab your heart - get to a doctor - you might be dead.

Update:

This is from an e-mail that was sent out to a number of people, myself included:

“The group of believers were joined in their hearts, and they had the same spirit. No person in the group said that the things he had were his own. Instead, they shared everything. With great power the apostles were telling people that the Lord Jesus was truly raised from death. And God blessed all the believers very much. They all received the things they needed. Everyone that owned fields or houses sold them. They brought the money and gave it to the apostles. Then each person was given the things he needed.” Acts 4:32-35 (ICB, International Children’s Bible)

This was the passage of scripture we talked about for our bible lesson yesterday at the TKA (Team Kess Academy). We read it and we talked about how we have had the privilege to participate in this type of a community during the LEHM. The week was incredible because God made it that way, since the beginning of time. We participated in something that followed His design not just for The Church, but for communities as well. We also talked about the fact that it didn’t matter that not everyone who was there is necessarily a believer in the Gospel, God’s truth is still truth and everyone who was involved received his blessings whether they felt they were doing it for his glory or not. It was a beautiful example of how joyous work and community can be when we live within his creation according to his design, plans, and purposes. “Everyone received the things he needed”, the Linden family received an renovated home, the workers received both practical and tangible resources; but everyone also received the gifts of new friendships, encouragement, purpose, and hope because we were each surrounded by love and selflessness all week.

Also, for their Language Arts assignment yesterday the boys had to write a page about their experiences. Their assignment was to write a page explaining what “Annabelle’s Circle” is, describe what you did, what you liked and disliked about the work you did, what you learned by participating, and what you can continue to do as a part of Annabelle’s Circle. Jordan dictated his thoughts to me while I typed so that he didn’t get frustrated by trying to spell and punctuate. His thoughts can also be a bit random, so I did take some editing license by organizing his sentences into paragraphs that flow, but the thoughts/words are all his own. Their papers are precious…even though I bribed them a bit by telling them that they could skip their math lesson yesterday if they did their VERY best work on these papers. Writing is Corey’s least favorite subject, so engaging in one of his favorite pastimes (negotiation) provided the inspiration he needed to create a well thought out and well written work. I pray that they will bless you abundantly today.

One more thing…for anyone who’s reading this who hasn’t seen the home-video of everyone working at the Linden’s, it is a must-see and well worth the 4:30 minutes of viewing time. You can check it out at www.annabellescircle.com. It is posted on the entry for Day 8 of the project. Many people from the Linden’s various circles of friends traveled from out of town to come and help. One couple flew down from Seattle. Most of us had heard each others names through the Linden’s stories over the years, but most of us didn’t know really each other before the week began. But even more amazingly, there are many people in the video that don’t even know the Linden’s. They are friends of friends of friends, who came to help because they heard there was a need. And that anyone regardless of age or skill set was welcome to come and help. There were jobs for everyone. One shot on the video is of some teenage girls scraping paint off of a window frame. They are from a youth group that came on Memorial Day from an out-of-town church most of us had never heard of. Oh and the guy building the planter boxed in the back yard was a co-worker of one of Holly’s friends. He was the first person to show up on the first day of work to help out. He had never met the Linden’s until that morning. By the end of the week we were all friends. It was like a grown-up Agape camp experience, exhausting and beautiful and none of us wanted it to end.

Warmly,
Wendy

Game Night

From DadLabs:

Just Imagine Them All Naked . . .

=As an aside=

Friends of ours have given us their master bedroom this week while the father, mother and three boys have been rotating between three twin beds, a cot and a couch.

The other night, when the father worked a full day and then went directly to our house to work all evening, one of the boys exclaimed, "How come dad gets to work on the Linden's house and I don't?"

Well, what can you say to that?

=End aside=

On the Super-Home-Make-Over show, the family is sent away for a week to a resort, they come back in a limo and a bus blocks their view of the home. Crowds of hundreds - even thousands line the street chanting "Move that bus!"

Once the bus is moved, the reaction is predictable - hooting, hollering, screaming, tears and hugs all around. Cameras and boom mics and lighting guys whir around the scene catching every moment for ratings posterity.

It won't be like that this afternoon.

It is one thing to be going through a tough time - submit a video tape to a producer - and get chosen by a multi-billion dollar corporation to be this week's recipient of largess all delivered by tv personalities.

This is something altogether different.

Friends who work all day at their jobs and then go straight to the house with a change of clothes to work until they drop.

Friends giving up vacation time (and pay) to come lend a hand.

This generosity does not come through multi-million-dollar models in tools belts on touring buses - it comes from a regular joe who shows up with a hammer (or not), all the cash they can spare and says, "How can I help?".

Not to disparage the tv show - it does it's good as well. But this is different.

The wife and I are to meet up with a friend at 5pm down the road from the house who will then blindfold us and drive us home.

I fully expect to find a driveway full of filthy and exhausted friends (except for the ones who refuse to stop working because they just know they can finish this one more thing if everyone just stalls us in the driveway a little longer . . . .). No cheering crowds - just a bunch of loved ones waiting expectantly for the moment they have been working all week for . . .

When the bus pulls away on tv, the family has been given a gift. When they pull the blindfolds off today we will be face to face with unimaginable sacrifice. What do you say to that?

The wife has been in tears most of the morning just thinking about it.

"What are we going to do? What are we going to say? How are we going to do it?" seem to be the questions recycling in her mind.

I respond with what has become my standard answer since this past March, "I don't know".

I have never been shy about taking to the stage - speaking to crowds - entertaining even (in my own way). But this.

I just don't know what to say or how to get through it.

If I can just make it to the back deck, grab a beer and light the grill before I fall apart, I think I will be okay.

"Thank you" seems hollow but it is all I have so far . . .

Soul Food - 6/1/8

From today's reading: Joshua 1-8:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go."

- Joshua 1:9

Point of Interest:

Joshua Chapter 2 tells the story of Rahab the prostitute helping Israel overthrow the city of Jericho.

Over and over again throughout the Bible we will see God using the cast-offs of society to further his kingdom. Almost without exception, God will choose the lowly over the exalted, the weak over the strong, the repentant sinner over the self-righteous saint to accomplish his purposes.

Showing again and again that it is the condition of a person's heart that matters more than the condition of their circumstances.

My Mind to Me a Kingdom Is

by Sir Edward Dyer - 1550?-1607

MY mind to me a kingdom is;
Such present joys therein I find,
That it excels all other bliss
That earth affords or grows by kind:
Though much I want that most would have,
Yet still my mind forbids to crave.

No princely pomp, no wealthy store,
No force to win the victory,
No wily wit to salve a sore,
No shape to feed a loving eye;
To none of these I yield as thrall;
For why? my mind doth serve for all.

I see how plenty surfeits oft,
And hasty climbers soon do fall;
I see that those which are aloft
Mishap doth threaten most of all:
They get with toil, they keep with fear:
Such cares my mind could never bear.

Content I live, this is my stay;
I seek no more than may suffice;
I press to bear no haughty sway;
Look, what I lack my mind supplies.
Lo, thus I triumph like a king,
Content with that my mind doth bring.

Some have too much, yet still do crave;
I little have, and seek no more.
They are but poor, though much they have,
And I am rich with little store;
They poor, I rich; they beg, I give;
They lack, I leave; they pine, I live.

I laugh not at another’s loss,
I grudge not at another’s gain;
No worldly waves my mind can toss;
My state at one doth still remain:
I fear no foe, I fawn no friend;
I loathe not life, nor dread my end.

Some weigh their pleasure by their lust,
Their wisdom by their rage of will;
Their treasure is their only trust,
A cloakèd craft their store of skill;
But all the pleasure that I find
Is to maintain a quiet mind.

My wealth is health and perfect ease,
My conscience clear my chief defence;
I neither seek by bribes to please,
Nor by deceit to breed offence:
Thus do I live; thus will I die;
Would all did so as well as I!